


At last I see the light

by Halos_Boat



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Accidents, Angst, Brief Mention of Blood, Christmas fic, Cuddling & Snuggling, Fluff, Implied Smut, M/M, No Smut, Pining, inspired by a song from tangled, pregnancy but not mpreg, what even, yes i know shhh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-25
Updated: 2019-12-25
Packaged: 2021-02-26 01:14:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 25,296
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21805003
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Halos_Boat/pseuds/Halos_Boat
Summary: "You're really odd one, aren't you?" Louis said thoughtfully with a tilt of his head, amused."I guess," he shrugged one shoulder and gulped down some more milk. It was weirdly endearing."What's your name?" Louis asked."Name's Harry," he placed his now empty glass down and extended his hand out.Louis smiled, accepting the handshake. "Louis," he informed Harry.Dimples with Curly Hair Harry. Though Louis was sure he wouldn't need just one distinct feature to remember Harry. There were too many.AU in which it takes seven years for Louis to finally love Christmas.
Relationships: Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson
Comments: 13
Kudos: 118





	At last I see the light

**Author's Note:**

> Hii so this is a christmas fic! 
> 
> I hope you enjoy and if there's anything I forgot to tag, please let me know!
> 
> Also note that there are medical inaccuracies and a festival in "Galia" does not exist nor does the place itself.

**2014**

The party Liam dragged him to was a bust. It was lame. It absolutely sucked. There were no words to describe how dreadful it all was.

Given that it was Christmas day, Louis kind of understood why though. Most people went home to spend it with their families and their loved ones. Louis, Liam, orange Sarah and bad-breath Dave, bubble-butt Jack and baby-faced Reena were the only ones that decided otherwise.

Well, considering Louis' family and other situations _and_ personal reasons, you couldn't really blame him for not wanting to celebrate this horrible holiday anyways.

Liam, on the other hand, was really bummed about not getting to be with his boyfriend, Zayn, for Christmas. He was pouting the whole bloody time, which put even more of a damper on the mood. If there was even one to begin with.

See, Reena--- the one who was currently passed out on her couch--- invited Liam to come to this party because 1) she was leaving tomorrow to get back to India and 2) she was Liam's friend and knew he would be alone. So together, they'd gathered as many people as they could to throw a 'party'.

For Liam, he'd only invited Louis because, well, there was no one else to invite really. Louis knew the other people after short introductions when they'd first come in and remembered them due to their distinct features. Hence why the Orange Sarah --- i.e. her bad tan bodering offensive, Bad-breath Dave--- all he said to Louis was hello and Louis had enough, Bubble-butt Jack--- seriously the man had an ass that looked like it could pop if Louis poked it and he'd really give Louis a run for his money, and baby-faced Reena, well, because she just had a baby face--- it was hard to decipher really.

"Hey, anyone know where I can get another drink?" Louis asked, startling all of them, speaking so loudly over the bubblegum pop music playing in the background.

"Um, the fridge?" Suggested Orange Sarah.

"Cheers, love," Louis raised his empty beer bottle at her and pushed himself off the beanbag chair. "Need another, Li?"

"Nah, I'm good," Liam raised his own bottle that was still half full.

Louis sauntered off to the kitchen after that, only feeling slightly bad that he hadn't offered to get anyone else drinks. Oh well.

He hummed Shania Twain's _Still The One_ , mindlessly playing with the sticker of the beer bottle, digging his short nails into the edges.

"Hello,"

Louis almost tripped over his feet, hearing an unfamiliar voice a short distance away. By a short distance, he meant literally a few steps away. Five at most.

"Jesus," Louis clutched the bottle in his hand a little tighter, letting out a breath.

"Sorry, did I scare you?" The boy asked, wrinkling his nose.

The first thing Louis thought was; cute. He was cute. Had curly hair swept to the side, pale pretty skin and he was lanky. Louis liked lanky. It was sexy.

"Just a tad," Louis replied, still examining the boy curiously.

"Sorry, I heard you humming Shania Twain and that's, like, my mating call," he said with a small laugh.

Louis grinned mischievously at him. The boys eyes widened comically.

"Not like--- god, not in like a weird way or anything. God," he groans, shaking his head, "sorry, I say weird shit sometimes."

"No worries. I like weird. I say and do weird shit all the time," Louis shrugged.

The boy also had a delicate rosy blush on cheeks. Very cute indeed.

"Oh," he said, meeting Louis' eyes again with a sheepish smile, "well, in a non-weird way I just wanted to compliment your taste in music."

Louis chuckled lowly. "You've heard me hum part of one song only. Does that really tell you a lot about my taste in music?"

"Somewhat," he shrugged, "I like what I hear so far."

_Like what you see too?_

Louis refrained from asking that one. Maybe that was a bit too much.

"You getting another drink?" He asked Louis, glancing down at the empty bottle still in Louis' hand.

"Oh, uh, yeah. Apparently there's beer in the fridge."

"Um, I didn't see any when I looked."

Louis huffed, walking towards the fridge placed opposite the boy. He opened it and scanned the items. Mustard. Yum. Pasta in a Tupperware container. Maybe yum? Dried out... kale, was it? And a bag of tomatoes. How invigorating. Still, no beer. Louis bent down a little to see the bottom part of the shelves, behind the tomatoes and kale. Nope. Nothing there either. Great.

With a sigh, he shut the fridge door and turned around. The boy blinked up at him, eyes still wide and face pale. Was he... did he check Louis out?

Louis felt flattered, honestly. He bit back a smirk and disposed of the bottle in the nearby trashcan. He leaned agains the counter near the fridge and faced the boy, crossing his arms over his chest.

"No more beer then?" The boy questioned, cheeks still pink.

"Nope," Louis pouted, "were you also looking for beer earlier?"

"Nah, don't drink beer," he shrugged.

Louis raised his eyebrow at him. "What do you drink then?"

He reached behind him and grabbed a cup, showing it to Louis.

"Milk," he answered Louis with a dorky smile. And oh Lord, he had dimples. Fuck.

"Milk?" Louis asked with an amused and confused smile.

"Yeah, milk," He confirmed, emphasising it by taking a sip and humming afterwards, "delicious."

Louis laughed. God, he really was weird.

"You want some?" He offered, holding his hand out.

"I'll pass thanks," Louis grimaced.

"I put sugar in it," he grinned, as if that would convince Louis to have it.

"Ew. Why?"

"So that it's sweet," His forehead wrinkled. He said it as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

"You're really odd one, aren't you?" Louis said thoughtfully with a tilt of his head, amused.

"I guess," he shrugged one shoulder and gulped down some more milk. It was weirdly endearing.

"What's your name?" Louis asked.

"Name's Harry," he placed his now empty glass down and extended his hand out.

Louis smiled, accepting the handshake. "Louis," he informed Harry.

Dimples with Curly Hair Harry. Though Louis was sure he wouldnt need just a distinct feature to remember Harry. There were too many.

"I like your name," Harry said, pulling his hand away. Then he slid down until his bum hit the floor. "Come on, sit down."

Louis stared at him. Weird one. He complied anyways, bending his knees until he was cross-legged opposite Harry. They seemed to be much closer now. Louis noticed Harry had the most stunning shade of green in his eyes. Jesus. Was this boy carved by angels or summat?

"So, tell me Harry," Louis started, leaning forward a bit, "why are you here on Christmas day at a lame ass party, drinking milk in a kitchen all by yourself?"

He waited for a response from him, elbow on his knee and chin resting on his fisted hand. A flash of an emotion Louis depicted as sadness glossed over Harrys eyes but he composed himself quickly, clearing his throat.

"Um, well, I had nothing better to do really," he answered, voice a little strained. Okay, so the question made him uncomfortable.

"Why milk though?" Louis asked, hoping he'd changed the subject enough for Harry to not feel so uncomfortable anymore.

It seemed to work, judging by his small smile, popping a dimple on his left cheek. "It's yum," he said, "better tasting than beer."

"Hey," Louis said, defensively, "not all beer is shit."

"That one definitely is though. I dunno how you can drink something like that," Harry's nose wrinkled.

"Okay, yeah. That was shit," Louis admitted, shifting a little on the cold tiled floor.

"Why'd you drink it then? And come looking for more?" Harry asked, eyes boring a hole into Louis' soul by how intense his gaze was. Fuck.

"I honestly need it for this... party," he waved his hands around, "otherwise I'd actually die."

Harry snorted. "You wouldn't actually die."

"Oh no, I would actually die. Once they start playing another bloody Taylor Swift song, I'd combust," he said, dead serious.

Harry honked out a laugh. "All right, the music isn't that great, I'll give you that but that's a touch dramatic, don't you think?"

"Oh, love," Louis sighed (yes it was a dramatic sigh), "you ain't seen nothin' yet."

"Horrible, horrible attempt at a Southern accent," Harry said, brows pinching together and giving him a thumbs down.

"Fine then, you give it a go and see. It's not that easy, you know?" Louis challenged, crossing his arms over his chest again and waiting for Harry to attempt it.

Harry cleared his throat before he began. And he called Louis dramatic.

"Pop it lock it, polka dot it," Harry said each line with a move of his head from side-to-side and a click of his fingers, "...throw it all together, that's how we roll," ending with a dazzling smile and jazz hands.

Louis didn't know whether to laugh or cry.

"See? I nailed it," Harry concluded confidently.

He did. More or less. Man he was so weird. Louis loved it.

"Wait, was that low-key offensive?" Harry then asked, eyes wide again and looking genuinely concerned.

Louis gnawed on his bottom lip. God he looked so worried. "Um, I mean... I don't know."

"Shit," Harry cursed, "well, I didn't mean for it to be offensive or anything. I just really like that song and it helped me with my accent practising as well."

The song? Accent practising? What?

"What?" Louis asked, perplexed, "it's like an actual song?"

Harry blinked at him. "Oh my god you've never heard that song before?"

"Uh... no? It's not a Shania song, is it?"

Harry tutted. "And here I thought you have good taste in music."

"From the sounds of it, it doesn't really sound all that great. Hate to break it to you, love."

Harry rolled his eyes. "It's only one of the best songs of the century."

"Century?" Louis scoffed.

"It's a _Hannah Montana_ song! From the movie!" He declared, wildly flailing his hands.

" _Hannah Montana_?" Louis repeated. "The blond Miley Cyrus?" He blinked.

"Well, yeah, kinda," Harry said, "but also not really."

"You just called a Hannah Montana song one of the best songs of the century," Louis said flatly.

"It's a nice song and it's really catchy," Harry defended himself with a small pout, "don't judge me."

"I'm not judging," Louis lied.

He kind of was but to be fair, he judged everyone for everything--- almost everything. It was just who he was.

"Okay, that was embarrassing," Harry groaned, covering his face.

And--- no. Okay, no. He made him uncomfortable again. Nope. Can't let the cute boy be uncomfortable.

"Hey, no," Louis said as gently as he could, "you can like Hannah Montana--- there's nothing wrong with that. I'm just a bit of a dick sometimes."

"Still embarassing," he mumbled, cheeks red and eyes on the floor.

"If it helps, my guilty pleasure is literally every Disney princess song ever," he confessed.

Which was surprising. No one knew this besides Niall. And that was only because he caught Louis singing _Part of your World_ one morning while his earbuds were in and he was cooking in his kitchen. Totally by accident and he teased him relentlessly about it.

Who cared, honestly? Disney princess songs slapped.

"What?" Harry asked, smiling again. Good.

"Disney princess songs," Louis repeated, "come on, you can even test me on them if you'd like."

"Okay," Harry leaned against the cupboard, "the one from _Tangled_."

"There's so many from _Tangled_."

Louis would know. That movie was his favourite.

"Your favourite one," Harry amended.

"Okay," Louis hummed in thought. As if he needed to think about it. "All those days watching from the window..."

Harry's eyes shone as bright as his smile. "I love that one!"

"And at last I see the light," Louis sang. He actually sang. Somehow comfortable to do so with this stranger.

"And it's like the fog has lifted," Harry sang along.

And man if he wasn't attractive before, here right now, singing along to one of Louis' favourite fucking songs, he would be like... fucking David Beckham level of attractive. Maybe. Very, very close, Louis'll give him that.

And so they sang the whole damn song together, unabashed and fucking loud at that but that was the last thing on Louis' mind. Their bubble burst as the song finished and there were huge smiles on their faces. Liam walked in, taken aback by what he saw.

Louis felt weird. As if he'd gotten caught in the middle of some heinous crime.

"Louis?" Liam asked, confused as ever, as if he couldn't believe what was in front of him.

"Uh, Liam?" Louis looked up at him in question.

"Um," he shook his head and looked away from Louis to Harry, "Reena started to pack up and stuff so, um..." he trailed off, unsure eyes moving back and forth between Harry and Louis. "Um, sorry who are you?" He asked Harry.

Harry's cheeks turned pink again at the attention. Weird. He was confident and charming only minutes ago when Louis walked in.

"Harry."

"Oh," Liam blinked then looked at Louis, "uh, so I guess everyone is leaving now."

"Oh," Louis looked at Harry who was already staring at him, "uh, yeah okay," he turned to Liam again, "you okay to drive home?"

"Yeah, just had the one beer."

"Okay, um, I'll be out in a sec, yeah?"

"Okay," Liam mumbled, passing one last dubious look at Harry before slowly walking out.

"Is he, um, is he your friend or boyfriend or something?" Harry asked.

Louis burst out laughing. "Liam? He isn't my boyfriend, no. He is me best mate though."

"Oh. He doesn't seem to like me."

Louis rolled his eyes. "He's like that with every person he doesn't know, don't worry about it. He's only met you for a few minutes--- barely."

"Oh. Well, um, I guess we're leaving then, huh?"

Louis' heart leapt to his throat. This may be a bad idea but fuck it because they were getting along and he's cute. Louis wanted more.

"You know, I have this carton of milk that's been sitting in my fridge since, like, forever ago..."

And god that sounded so much fucking better in his head.

Clearly that didn't go well with Harry either, judging by his expression. His face just fell. Louis felt like dying, wishing he could crawl in a hole and never look at Harry ever again.

"I'm not--- sorry, if I gave you the wrong impression t---"

"No, no, god--- no," Louis cut him off quickly, saving himself from further mortification. "That came out so wrong, fuck."

"I honestly do have a carton of milk that's been in my fridge for ages but I just--- I honestly just wanted to know if you wanted to come to mine and just... you know, hang out," he winced. God he was making a fool of himself.

"Just hang out?" Harry asked, still looking dubious.

"Just hang out. Really. Drink some milk that's possibly expired and, like, maybe karaoke a few Disney princess songs too?"

A slow smile spread across his face. "Hannah Montana songs too?"

"Possibly," Louis smirked.

Okay, this was fucking weird, wasn't it? He was inviting a stranger to his home to drink milk and sing fucking disney songs for God's sake, what was in that beer?

"Okay," Harry grinned, "I, um, didn't bring a car though."

Should Louis be worried about how easily Harry accepted his offer?

Fuck it, he decided. They were both alone on Christmas day and it wasn't even eight o'clock yet.

"That's okay. I didn't either. I came with a taxi," Louis explained, "we can use a taxi again if that's okay with you?"

"Yeah, sounds good," he then pushed himself off the ground and extended his hand out for Louis.

Louis accepted it, practically being pulled to his feet again. Okay then. Interesting. He dusted his bum--- force of habit--- and gave Harry a smile.

"I'll go tell Liam, yeah?"

"Your friend?"

"Yes. I'll be back in a few seconds," Louis held up one finger before walking out the kitchen.

Okay. He was really doing this then.

"Li," he called out to his friend who was currently folding up an empty paper plate. There was food here?

"Louis," he turned to him, "where's your friend?" He raised his eyebrows.

"He's in the kitchen--- not really my friend--- at least, not yet? I don't know. Anyways," he shook his head, "I'm going to split a taxi with him and head back home. Will you be okay on your own?"

Liam's eyes widened margianlly. "You're going home with him or...?"

"Not like _that_ ," he sighed, "we're just going to hang out."

"Right," Liam hummed, unconvinced, "well just remember to use protection."

"Shut up," Louis huffed, rolling his eyes, "are you going to be okay by yourself?"

"Louis, I'm a big boy. I got this," he reassured, patting him on the back with his free hand, "go have fun."

"Thanks, Li. I'll call you tomorrow, yeah?"

"Yeah, not too early."

"Who do you think I am?" Louis scoffed. "Bye, Li," he said, already walking backwards a bit towards the direction of the kitchen. When Liam waved at him, he finally turned around and entered the kitchen again.

Harry was playing with his nails, his thumb flicking off some of polish on them. Polish. His nails were painted. How did Louis miss that?

"Ready to go?" Louis asked tentatively.

Harry looked up at him. "Um, I guess so."

Okay. He was doing this then. He was inviting a--- practically stranger--- over to his house after barely and hour of conversation. Totally normal.

As they got closer to Louis' place, it hit him how weird this actually was and it seemed to hit Harry too because he became more jittery and restless in the cab, legs bouncing and rubbing his hands over his thighs.

God, what had he done?

They both paid half-half for the taxi and jumped out, heading up the stairs to Louis' flat. Louis could hear the loud steps of Harry's boots follow him down the hallway to his door. Number 28.

His hands were clammy as he twisted his key in to open the door. Once inside, he gestured for Harry to come in too. Harry gave him a timid smile before walking in, eyes studying Louis' tiny flat.

"It's lovely," he said, eyes twinkling.

Louis scoffed. "Thanks," he said, placing his keys in the bowl placed on a small table beside the creaky front door.

"I'm serious," Harry said, sounding just as much, "it's... rustic and homey."

"Thanks," Louis repeated, unsure of what else to say. He always thought his place was just mediocre anyways. It was a place good enough for him to get by, which was all he needed.

"This is really weird, isn't it?" Harry asked bashfully, voice slightly mumbled.

"Yes," Louis breathed out, chuckling a bit, "too late now 'cause you're already here, right?"

Harry smiled but it was a little shaky. Great. Louis sounded like a serial killer.

"Can I get your coat for you?" He asked, hating the silence between them.

"Yeah, thanks," he said, pushing off his coat to hand to Louis. He looked even better in a coat. Lankier. Louis liked it.

He hung both their coats up and gestured to the coach next to them. "Want to take a seat?"

"Sure," Harry rounded the old suede couch and sat at the right corner, posture rigid and uncertain.

Louis bit his lip. This was awkward. And to think, their conversation had been flowing so easily just minutes ago.

"Um, would you like something to drink? I make a great cup of tea."

Harry turned to him. "Uh, yeah sure. Why not?" He laughed, undertone nervous.

Lovely. Louis walked to the other side of the flat--- visible from where Harry sat and vice versa. He put the kettle on to boil and grabbed two mugs along with teabags. His only two mugs. What can he say? He doesn't really get many visitors, given his family and all. Family to be taken with a grain of salt. They never really felt like family to him.

He shook his head and poured the now hot water into the mugs.

"Uh, Harry?" He looked in Harry's direction to see the boy sitting forward, thumbs twiddling on his lap.

"Yeah?" He paused his actions.

"Sugar and milk?"

"Two sugars and some milk," he said with a smile.

Louis grimaced. "Do you have to put sugar in everything?"

Harry giggled. "It makes things sweet. What's wrong with that?"

Louis rolled his eyes, still smiling. If it was Liam or Zayn or even Niall, he would never let them live it down, teasing them relentlessly about it. But for some reason, with Harry, he'd just kept quiet and continued making their tea.

"Louis?"

Louis looked up again at Harry. "Yeah?"

"Are you going to use that carton of milk you were talking about?" He asked with a smug smile.

Louis snorted, cheeks heating up. "Um, yeah, I suppose so. Why? Do you want some on its own?"

"Maybe later," he shook his head with a polite smile.

Louis couldn't believe this was happening. He tried to rid himself of any further thoughts, before he did something stupid, and carried their teas back to the couch.

"Thanks," Harry said, accepting the mug from him and blowing into it the steaming liquid before taking a tentative sip and humming contently.

"Good?" Louis asked, sitting on the left corner of the couch, keeping a respectful amount of distance between them.

"Good," he confirmed, taking another sip, unnecessarily loud at that.

"So, um, is there anything in mind that you want to do?" Harry asked, holding the cup of tea in his lap. "In a non-weird way, again," he added quickly with a nervous smile.

"Right, um," Louis thought carefully. He hadn't really had any sort of plans in mind. Stupid. He was really stupid sometimes. "How about you show me that _Hannah Montana_ song you claimed was one of the best songs on the century?"

Harry's eyes lit up. "Okay, fine. You'll love it," he said confidently.

"All right. Let me get my laptop then," he placed his cup down next to the sofa and got up to retrieve his laptop from his room.

Right. This was happening then. They were going to watch fucking Hannah Montana.

Louis opened up _YouTube_ once he sat back down and subtly scooted closer to Harry. He hid back his pleased smile when he noticed Harry doing the same.

"What's it called?"

"Here, let me type it," Harry took the laptop onto his own lap and typed on the search bar. "There it is," he said with a beaming smile.

Louis had to move closer to him to see the video now. So close that they were almost pressing thighs together. Almost.

Then there was Miley Cyrus in her blonde wig as Hannah Montana, in cowboy boots, doing some dance along to a song that Louis hated to admit was actually kinda catchy.

"So? What did you think?" Harry asked excitedly, turning his head a bit to look at Louis.

"Catchy," he admitted, "but no Disney princess song, I'll tell you that."

Harry rolled his eyes this time. "It didn't meet your standards then?"

"Not entirely, no," Louis said with a twist of his lips playfully.

"Fine," Harry huffed with a disgruntled expression, "you just wanna listen to your Disney princess songs, don't you?"

"I always do," he grabbed the laptop back and opened up a playlist on his spotify.

(Yes, he had a playlist. Sue him.)

"Is this the song from _Little Mermaid_?" Harry asked as _Part of Your World_ started to play.

Lord, Louis wanted to marry him already.

And, nope. No. Weird. He was being weird again. Someone had to stop him.

"Uh, yeah," Louis confirmed, placing his laptop down on the small coffee table in front of them. It was an old, second-hand wooden one that Louis couldn't resist buying. There was something charming about older furniture, in Louis' humble opinion.

"I like this one and I like all the songs from _Aladdin_ ," Harry said, sitting back a little. He seemed more comfortable, thankfully.

"Never pegged you for the _Aladdin_ type," Louis turned his body to face Harry and sat with his legs crossed atop the couch.

"Never pegged you for the Disney princess type," Harry countered.

"Fair enough, Hannah Montana," Louis quipped, reaching down for his tea.

"Hey, she's valid, okay?" Harry whined in protest.

"Are you going to turn darkside and pull a wrecking ball on us too then?" Louis teased, smiling as he sipped his tea.

"Hmm... 'm fraid not. Haven't gotten my heartbroken to that extent yet," Harry said, practically gulping down the rest of his tea then licking his lips. Louis forced himself to look away from that.

"You say _yet_ like you're expecting it," Louis said instead, "what if it never happens?"

"It's better to expect it rather than not to," Harry shrugged half-heartedly, looking down.

That was--- morbid? But he had a point.

"Jeez," Louis rumbled a short laugh, "that's a bit heavy, innit?"

"I've been hurt many times before," Harry offered a vague explanation, "is that a box collection of _Friends_?"

Louis followed Harry's gaze that landed on his TV cabinet, where, there was definitely a box set of _Friends_ in the visible shelf.

"It is, yeah," Louis looked at him, "you a fan?"

"Huge," Harry grinned.

"You up for a few episodes? Seeing as we have nothing else to do?"

"Sure, as long as you don't mind unnecessary commentary here and there."

Generally, Louis does. He strongly believed that if you watch something, you actually _watch_ something and you shut up. But-

"Not at all," he lied through his teeth. All for a pretty boy. Damn.

"Good. Season five, please," Harry demanded, matching Louis' position but facing Louis' small T.V.

"As you wish," Louis let out a dramatic sigh and pushed himself off the sofa to put season five of _Friends_ to play.

"Ew, ew, EW," Harry winced, hiding behind his hands, leaving a small gap opened to watch the screen anyways.

"You have a touching-eye phobia?" Louis asked, amused. They'd gone through a few random episodes and Louis had lost count eventually. For this one though, Harry seemed to have a lot in common with Rachel.

"It's gross," he said, voice mumbled.

"Hey, Harry,"

Harry turned to Louis and Louis took the opportunity to poke his finger into his eye to move around his contact lens.

"No, oh my god. _Stop that_ ," Harry hissed, inching away from Louis and curling on the edge of the couch.

Louis cackled, blinking until his contact lens was straightened again.

"That can't be sanitary," Harry said, nose wrinkled and hands at his sides again, picking on a loose thread from Louis' couch.

"Probably not but I've done worse," Louis said nonchalantly, "once got come in my eye while my lenses were on."

"Oh my god," Harry squawked, "did you just--- oh my god," he groaned then laughed, "that's... wow."

"It wasn't very nice," Louis continued, not ashamed at all, "so I'm definitely not doing that again."

"Oh, god," Harry shook his head, his whole face turning beet red.

"All right, all right. I'm done," Louis surrendered. As much as he enjoyed Harry squirming, he could tell he was really uncomfortable.

"Thank you," Harry breathed out, body relaxing.

"You owe me one of them embarrassing sex stories though," he said.

"I don't think I have any," Harry said, still blushing, "I'm not that exciting. "

Louis frowned. "I'm sure there will be eventually. You're still young."

"Aren't we the same age?" Harry chuckled.

"I don't know, are you twenty?"

"Nineteen."

"See, young," Louis winked, "you have some time."

"You're a year older than me," Harry rolled his eyes.

"A year wiser," Louis said proudly.

"You're crazy," Harry said with a small huff of a laugh.

"Was me, a practical stranger, inviting you to my place for milk not proof enough that I'm crazy?"

Harry barked out a laugh. "Fine. You got me there."

Louis grinned. By the time looked at the T.V. again, the next episode of _Friends_ was already playing.

So it went on like that, they watched more _Friends_ , passing unnecessary commentary towards each other. Yes, Louis may have indulged in it too.

"Ross was a drag," Louis commented after he'd made one of his typical ignorant comments.

"He was kind of attractive though," Harry said. Louis looked at him, hoping he would say 'sike'. He hadn't.

"I just want someone to treat me the way he treated Rachel---- before he, um, you know..."

There was something so vulnerable and opened in his tone that Louis couldn't even find himself arguing against it. Harry just sounded... like he was longing. Louis could relate, truthfully.

Then they spoke, once they got tired of watching, and they both grew more comfortable with each other as the seconds grew into minutes, then hours. Honestly, Louis had lost track of time.

It seemed like their conversation just never ran out and Harry was as weird as Louis first got of him as a first impression which Louis was quite pleased about. He was peculiar and it was refreshing.

When Harry started to yawn, mid-laugh, was when he decided to leave. The sleep instantly caught up to Louis then too, mimicking Harry's yawn himself.

"Guess it's time to go?" Harry asked, voice sounding slurred with sleep.

"Guess so. I'll call you a taxi---"

"Don't, it's all right," Harry stopped him quickly, "I got it."

Then he pushed himself off of the couch and stretched, letting out another yawn.

"It's 2 in the morning," Louis almost gasped in realisation, catching a glance at his wall clock.

"Fuck," Harry said, blinking a bit, "I really should go then."

"Uh, are you sure you don't just wanna crash here?" Louis asked carefully.

Harry regarded him with caution before slowly shaking his head. "I'll be okay. Thank you though. I--- I really had fun."

"You're welcome," Louis smiled, "I had fun too."

With that Harry grabbed his coat from where it hung and slipped it on. "Thanks for inviting me over for milk," he grinned, "and Happy boxing day."

Louis snorted, shaking his head. "You're welcome. Thank you for coming. Happy boxing day to you too, Harry."

Harry's dimpled smile shone in the dark flat, leaving as quickly as he came. Then Louis was left alone, staring the spot at the threshold of the door where Harry had stood only seconds ago.

That was by the far the weirdest, most eventful and best christmases hes ever had. And it was with someone he barely knew. Huh. Strange how some things happen to work out.

***

Liam of course had a bucket load full of questions for Louis the next day. The first was whether or not he'd slept with 'this Henry person', which Louis expected.

"It's Harry," Louis corrected, placing his bag down next to him and fishing out his notebook and pen, "and no, we didn't have sex, Liam."

"Well what did you do then?" Liam asked, looking confused and leaning closer to Louis.

"We just," Louis shrugged, "like, talked and watched T.V."

Liam looked like he was a robot, trying to comprehend a human emotion. "You asked a guy to come over--- a stranger, mind you--- to watch a movie with you?"

"It was a series," Louis argued weakly, "and yes I did--- so what?"

"So, no one fucking does that, Louis," he huffed, as if frustrated, "did something happen that you're too embarrassed to tell me about? Is it another come-in-lenses situation?"

"No, Liam. I told you we didn't do anything of that sorts," Louis repeated tiredly, opening his notebook and decided to read through his work.

"I just don't get it," Liam sighed, "do you fancy him, though?"

"Jesus. Liam, we've met once and talked once... I don't fancy him," Louis scoffed. It was true--- kind of. He hardly knew him, how would he fancy him?

"But you find him attractive," Liam said with a smirk.

"Can you blame me? He looks like an angel for gods sake," Louis groaned, giving up and shutting his notebook.

"He was pretty good-looking," Liam admitted with a jut of his bottom lip, "did you get his number though, is the question?"

Then it hit Louis like a truck full of bricks. How had he not realised this before? He must have gasped because Liam could see how shocked he was.

"You didn't get his number?" Liam hissed, gaping at him afterwards. "Either he wasn't good in bed or you're a complete fool and really did forget to exchange numbers."

"We didn't sleep together for gods sake," Louis rolled his eyes, "but I am really a fool who forgot to ask for his number--- _fuck_."

"Oh boy," Liam said, as Louis started his dramatics, groaning into his palms.

"What am I gonna do?" He mumbled into the skin of his palms.

"Well, he was at Reena's party, which means she probably knows him, yeah? Maybe just ask her?"

Louis inhaled then looked at his friend straight in the eye. "Liam fucking Payne, you are genius," he planted a kiss on his cheek, "now give me Reena's number!" He demanded.

"I don't have it," Liam shrugged, an apologetic smile on his face.

"What?" Louis asked, outraged, "well how am I supposed to do this now?"

"Ask someone else that was there, maybe?" Liam suggested.

Louis could do that. He had seen where Orange Sarah sat once or twice before, meeting her friends at _Coffee Buzz_. But it hadn't really clicked until, well, now. Convenient.

"I see Sarah at _Coffee Buzz_ sometimes," he informed Liam, "maybe I'll ask her?"

"Yes, do that," Liam said, beaming and patting Louis' back, "go get this pretty boy's number."

God, he really was pretty.

"All right," he said determinedly.

He found Orange Sarah at _Coffee Buzz_ only two days later on a rainy Friday morning. She was in a corner booth with two other people, one of them being Bad Breath Dave. He grimaced. God the things he'd do for pretty boys.

"Hello," he greeted, careful but friendly, standing at the table.

"Hello?" Sarah stared at him for a bit. "You're from Reena's party, aren't you?"

"Uh, yeah, I am," Louis bounced on the tip of his toes to his heels, "do you by any chance have Reena's number?"

"Mate, she has a boyfriend," Bad Breath Dave said, "that's not cool."

"I'm gay, Dave," he rolled his eyes, turning back to Sarah, "I need to ask her for Harry's number."

"Harry? I know him," Sarah said, pulling out her phone, "I don't have his number though."

Great. Thanks, Sarah.

"Well, do you know what classes he takes? Course he's studying? Anything?"

"He doesn't go to uni here," she said, still tapping her phone, "I don't know if he does go to uni, actually."

"Oh," Louis blanched. For some reason, the thought about him not going to uni at all hadn't crossed Louis' mind.

"Here," Sarah handed Louis her phone with Reena's number.

"Thank you," Louis sighed in relief, pulling out his own phone and copying her number.

"Hope everything works out," she said to Louis once she got her phone back.

"Thank you," Louis said, already hurrying out the shop.

New years was a bust and they did basically nothing. Zayn had only come back a few days ago so Louis hadn't even seen Liam properly. And being at uni when hardly anyone else was here was weird. Louis should be used to it by now though. He was just grateful that Orange Sarah and her friend were still here too. Louis wondered what their story was, being by themselves during the holidays.

The first thing Louis did when he got to his room was dial Reena's number. It rang for approximately five seconds before she picked up.

"Hello?" She answered, voice as high as Louis remembered.

"Hi, uh, this is Louis--- Louis Tomlinson," he said, a little awkwardly, "I was at your Christmas party a few weeks ago."

"Oh," she sounded surprised, "um, can I help you with something?"

"Uh, yeah this is gonna sound really weird and awkward but, um, do you by any chance have Harry's number? He was at your party too--- in the kitchen the whole time," Louis chuckled.

"Oh, Harry. I would love to, Louis, but I'm afraid I don't have his number," she said regretfully, "I'd only seen him at the yoga classes I did and he attended them occasionally."

Oh. She did yoga classes. Louis remembered that. Liam went for a few with Zayn. If he had listened to them and went with, maybe he could have met Harry sooner. It was odd that Liam hadn't recognised Harry though. At the same time, it wasn't surprising because Liam's memory was horrible.

He called Louis, 'Lenny' for a whole month before finally getting it right.

Who invited a random from their yoga class for a party?

"He told me he'd be alone so I invited him over," Reena explained. Fuck. Had he said that out loud?

"Oh, I see," Louis sighed, heart sinking, "well, um, is there anything else you know about him, maybe?"

"Um, not much else, I'm afraid. We weren't--- we just spoke now and then, you know? Acquaintances, really."

Fucking shit. Okay then.

"Right," Louis sighed, "um, thanks for your help anyways, I guess and, um, enjoy India."

"Thank you, Louis. I hope you find him."

Louis was a little taken aback by how sincere she'd sounded. He thanked her anyway and hung up.

With a long groan, he collpased onto his bed, head into his pillow. He'd met this great person and they just... just got on from the word go. And now... now what?

***

It was horrible. He'd tried to search for a Harry on Instagram, Twitter and even Facebook, but as it turned out, there were way too many Harrys in the world. And he'd gone through at least a hundred and none were his Harry.

Well, not his, but just--- the Harry that he knew. And it was like he was a ghost. No one knew who Harry was really. The people who did know him, had no idea how to contact him. The people who knew him being Sarah and Reena only.

God, he'd even gone to the art college up the road from his uni, in hopes to find him there but there was no Harry there. No Curly-haired Dimples Harry.

He was beginning to lose hope of ever finding him and god it sounded ao dramatic because he'd barely known the guy. Not even for a day. How was he this disappointed about it?

"You know, maybe it's just not meant to be," Liam said, trying to cheer him up but ultimately failing.

If it weren't for Liam knowing who he was and seeing him with his own two eyes along with Reena and Sarah, he would have thought he'd made up Harry completely.

"But--- but it's like... we got along so well, you know?"

"I know, Louis," Liam sighed, quirking his lips into a sad smile.

"You know... if he wanted to find you too, he would have found you by now too," Zayn said hesitantly, "I mean, think about it... he knows where you are, even where you live--- what was his excuse?"

It shouldn't have hurt. But it did. Maybe it was because Louis would have thought hed want to speak to him again too. But Zayn was right. He knew more about Louis than Louis did about him. Maybe he just wasn't keen on seeing Louis again. For some reason, Louis just couldn't quite believe that. Maybe it was because he didn't want to or because his gut feeling told him not to. Those two were very different things to him.

***

**2015**

Louis hadn't expected this year's Christmas to be any different from any of the previous ones but this one felt like a new kind of low and, well, pathetic really.

He found himself at a pirate themed restaurant, on Christmas day at half past seven at night, to have dinner at their buffet.

He sighed, contemplating his life choices as he grabbed a plate and moved in line to examine some of the foods from the buffet.

The first thing he saw was peas. Louis grimaced. Yuck. Then mash. Yum. He dished out a good serving of that and moved on.

When he got to the chicken wings, he excitedly reached for them only to knock shoulders and hands with someone else. He was about to reprimand them, snap at them and ask them to watch it but then, then---

"Harry?" Louis asked in disbelief, pretty certain that his heart had fallen out of his arse by now.

"Louis," Harry breathed out, just as shocked.

Harry looked--- he looked the same, yet different all at the same time. His hair was longer than the last time and his features seemed more defined. Still angelic though.

"You're--- holy shit, what the hell are you doing here?" Louis asked, kind of ... happy? that he was here.

"I--- I just, um--- a friend of mine told me about this place and I had nothing better to do and I really wasn't going to cook, so, uh, yeah," he replied nervously, adjusting the plate in his hand, "what about you?"

"Same thing, actually," he chuckled lowly, "lonely on Christmas so I resort to a pirate themed restaurant's buffet apparently."

"Well, I heard their chicken wings are argggg-mazing," Harry giggled to himself.

"Gosh," Louis huffed out a laugh, "that was awful."

"It was funny. You laughed," Harry grinned proudly.

And damn, Louis was crazy but he missed this? God he met him once before calm the fuck down. It was just getting along and talking to someone so easily that he'd missed.

"Oi, move your asses!" Came a rude voice from next to Harry.

"Watch your mouth, pal," Louis bit back before stepping out of the line and pulling Harry out with him.

"Sorry about that," Harry mumbled, frowning.

"You don't need to apologise. You weren't rude or anything. It was that slimy git that was," Louis glared at the back of the tall, muscular mans head.

"You didn't get any chicken wings," Harry frowned down at Louis' plate. Without a second thought, Harry grabbed one of his and placed it on Louis' plate.

"Thanks," Louis mumbled, touched and amused all at the same time.

"Should we find a table? If---- if you want to sit together, that is," Harry said nervously.

"Uh, yeah, sure," Louis cleared his throat, looking away from Harry's intense green gaze.

It was surprisingly packed for Christmas day. Maybe more people were alone on Christmas than Louis had realised. Well, there was a random family that caught Louis' eye, holding their hands together and praying before feasting, as if they'd been celebrating at their own house. It was a bit weird but who was he to judge, really?

"There," Harry mumbled, pointing to his left.

They made their way to a small table, a little bit squished into the whole restaurant in one corner, but Louis didn't really mind.

It was admittedly a little awkward at first because--- well, because there were clearly questions between the two of them that hung unanswered in the air and neither of them really made a move to ask the other.

Louis wasn't sure where to start. He was happy seeing Harry again, that was for sure. But there was another part of him that wondered whether or not this was a good idea because who was to say what would happen after this encounter.

Encounter. Louis laughed at himself in his head. As if Harry were an alien or summat.

"Um," Harry said, seeming jittery. Louis could relate. "I--- it's good seeing you again here, you know? It's a coincidence that it happened again on Christmas day," Harry let out a small chuckle, "it's like... weird, innit?"

Louis hummed, eyebrows pinched together. "Why---" Louis raised his voice and started again, "why didn't you try and keep in contact with me?"

Better let it out while he was thinking about all of it, really. There was no point beating around the bush to avoid the inevitable. Louis had never been the type of person who had time for all of that.

Harry was clearly taken aback by the question, eyes widening. It reminded Louis of when theyd met in Reena's kitchen, exactly a year ago.

"I---I---"

"Yeah?" Louis tried to encourage as gently as possible.

He wasn't--- he wasn't mad, really. They'd only met once after all and while he'd intially been disappointed and upset, he couldn't hold on to the feeling for so long. Still, it wasn't like he didn't want answers. We all want answers, even if weve moved on. It was only human.

"I didn't think you'd want that," Harry said in one breath, shoulders sagging, eyes on his plate.

"What?" Louis frowned at him. "Why would you think that?"

Harry gave him a one-shoulder shrug. "You didn't ask for my number or like, ask about anything personal--- surname and all that--- I just assumed I was like a distraction for you to pass time or summat," he admitted with a slight tinge of pink to his cheeks.

Louis couldn't help but chuckle at that, shaking his head.

"What?" Harry asked, perplexed, looking at Louis now.

"I just--- I didn't think about it that way, I..." he sighed, "I truly didn't really think about it that way, I don't know--- I tried to look for you afterwards but it's like you're a secret agent or something--- couldn't find much on you."

"You tried to look for me?" Harry asked in a quiet voice, a flash of emotion passing through his eyes.

"Well, yeah," Louis said, as if it was so obvious, "we got along so well and I was bummed that neither one of us asked for the other's number but then--- then I realised you could have contacted me if you'd really wanted to, 'cause you knew more about me than I knew about you so I figured that maybe you just didn't want to."

Harry blinked twice then dropped his fork onto the plate before dropping to the back of his seat and covering hus face with his palms, cursing softly.

"I feel so stupid," Harry mumbled, then groaned, hands falling away from his face, "all this time---" he sighed, shaking his head, "I'm sorry, Louis."

Louis could tell he meant it, if the glint in his eyes was anything to go by. Jesus. He could get away with murder by just that look alone.

Louis swallowed. "It's fine, I suppose. We were both just idiots then," he chortled, "and I'm sorry too--- I should have asked for your number or something--- I didn't realise I seemed... uninterested."

"It's fine," Harry was quick to reassure him, "I could have asked for yours too I was just... unsure, I suppose. We'd only just met after all and I'm not too good with people," he said shyly.

It was endearing.

"It's all right," Louis said, meaning it, "let's just--- we'll move past it, yeah? What do you say?"

Harry smiled, even if it was small. "Yeah, I'd like that," he agreed.

"Good," Louis grinned back. It was okay. Even though Louis was upset, he could see it from Harrys point of view as well. They were truly just idiots and there was evident miscommunication between them. It happened.

"Um, I have to ask though," Harry said, "how did you, um, try to look for me?"

Louis inhaled, pushing around the mash on his plate. "I might sound crazy," he warned with a nervous laugh.

"I'm sure you won't," Harry said quietly, gently.

Louis let out a breath. "Well, I started off by asking Liam--- I don't know if you remember him?"

Harry nodded. "The one who didn't like me," he said.

"He didn't not like you," Louis rolled his eyes half-heartedly, "he's just like that, you know what I mean?"

"Sure," Harry said, seeming unconvinced but a smile remained on his face anyways.

"Anyways," Louis continued, "I'd asked him then asked Sarah for Reena's number 'cause Liam didn't have it so Sarah gave it to me and I got a hold of Reena and she said you went to some of her yoga classes but she wasn't really close to you so she didn't have a way of contacting you then I tried looking on social media--- Instagram and whatnot--- but as it turns out, there are a lot of Harrys and I didn't know your surname so," he shrugged, "I came to the conclusion that maybe you just didn't wanna be found and we didn't get along as well as I thought we did."

Harry stared at him, mouth slightly opened. "God, you went through all of that," Harry said in disbelief.

"Yeah, um, kinda crazy, I guess," Louis chuckled nervously.

"No, not at all," Harry huffed, looking frustrated all of a sudden, "I should have tried, god--- I'm sorry."

"It's okay," Louis said, "we're moving past it now, aren't we?"

Harry nodded shortly.

"You got it wrong though," Harry said, softly, "We did really get along well and, um, I don't know we... we, yeah, I liked talking to you. It felt..."

"Easy?" Louis offered.

A slow smile spread across his face. "Yeah, easy."

"You know what? To avoid making that mistake again," Louis reached into his jeans pocket and pulled out his phone, "give me your number."

Harry grinned, taking the phone from Louis and typing in his number. "There," he handed it back, looking pleased, "not making that mistake again."

"Good."

"Tell me what youve been up to the past year," Harry said, looking more relaxed now. Much like the last time Louis had spoken to him.

"Uh, well, I'm in my third year now and I got an internship at a hospital nearby too. Nothing too major, honestly. What about you?"

"I just enrolled in an art school. It's actually right by the campus you and your friends study at," Harry said, beaming.

Then it hit Louis. "Wait--- art school nearby... do you mean Matriarch art school?" He asked, sitting up.

"Uh, yeah--- have you been to it?"

"I--- I looked there," Louis sputtered, couldn't quite believing his fate, "when I was looking for you, I looked there."

"Oh," Harry said, eyes wide, "I-- I only started a few months ago."

"Really?" Louis asked, "wow, talk about timing."

"Maybe it was meant to happen the way it did," Harry suggested, a pink blush on his cheeks like it was a year ago, "at least we met again--- I'm glad we did."

"Me too," Louis agreed.

It sounded a little cliché to say it like that. But Louis felt like it was true. He kind of had to let it go after a few weeks of turning up with nothing on Harry. Truthfully, part of him had always thought about Harry but he'd never ventured further after a while.

Now though, he was glad that he'd met Harry again.

Right as they finished up their food, a man, dressed as a pirate, walked up to a small podium to their left. He tapped on a mic to gain their attention.

"Evening everyone," he greeted, one eye covered by an eye patch, "are we ready to get our karaoke voices on?"

"Karaoke voices on?" Harry snorted, "what the hell does that mean?"

Louis smiled, amused. "Leave the lad, alone. He already looks like he's gonna shit himself," he whispered to Harry.

Harry barked out a laugh that also, unfortunately, gained everyone's attention. He clapped his hand over his mouth, the pink from his cheeks spreading to his ears.

Louis had to try his hardest not to laugh at his expression.

"Sorry," Harry mumbled out.

Louis noticed that even the pirate that was on stage had stopped speaking. Oh shit.

"Anyways," the pirate cleared his throat, "let's sing some songs, yeah?"

The people around them cheered. Harry still looked so embarrassed. Louis wanted to, like, hug him or something.

"God, that was humiliating," Harry mumbled, not meeting Louis' eyes.

"You just laughed out loud," Louis tried to reassure him, tone nonchalant, "there's nothing wrong with that."

"A too loud donkey laugh, you mean?" He twisted his lips in a grimace.

"Who cares? It's a nice laugh," he tried again.

Harry finally looked at him. "Yeah, right."

"Seriously--- it's better than mine. Mine sounds, like, fake and stuff," Louis attempted, even if it was weakly.

"Fake and stuff?" He raised an eyebrow, at least his eyes were full of mirth now. "I've heard you laugh, and you really don't."

"You remember my laugh?"

Harry inhaled, soft but sharp. "Uh--- yeah. Memorable, you could say."

Louis grinned, hoping he wasnt blushing too hard. "Thanks, I guess."

"Yeah, you're welcome," Harry waved him off, "so what do you say? Karaoke?"

"What?" Louis spluttered. "You want to sing?"

"Yes. Like the pirate said, 'time to get our karaoke on'," he said seriously.

Louis searched his eyes. He sighed. "What do you want to sing?"

"Well, I was thinking _Still the One_ ," he smirked. Louis huffed out a laugh. "Since it's, like, sentimental to us and all."

"Sentimental?" Louis raised a brow. "Already with all the sentiments huh?"

Harry shrugged. "I just remember you humming it to this day so I think it's only fair that we sing it together, don't you think?"

Louis' cheeks heated up. God he hummed Shania Twain. He'd almost forgotten about that.

"I can't sing," Louis warned.

"Neither can I but this will be fun!" Harry insisted with a small pout and those bloody eyes. Dammit.

"Fine," Louis gave in with a sigh, "just one song though."

They ended up singing not only one song, but three in the end. They'd only stopped because some people seemed annoyed at them, not letting others have a chance. It was karaoke on Christmas for gods sake, it wasn't that deep.

Regardless, they'd left the stage after dueting to _Endless Love_. They seemed to move in sync with everything the other did and truthfully, it was scary. Even the two other songs they chose after _Still The One_ , they thought about the same songs.

See. They clicked. Louis knew they had something special back when they first met and he was glad he got to leave with Harry's number in his phone this time. Curly-haired Dimples Harry.

The pirate themed restaurant was a bust after that; people tired and singing absolutely horribly to Christmas songs, so they decided to go home.

They walked together to where Louis' car was parked, slow and purposeful.

"You have a car now," Harry said conversationally, hands stuffed into his coat pocket.

The wind was glacial and Louis' feet felt numb already, even in his boots, but he was spending more time with Harry, so he found that he didn't really mind.

"Yeah, only a few months old and a little small but she's a beaut," Louis grinned proudly. He saved for a car for a good few years and was lucky enough to get one at a good, affordable price. It wasn't his dream car per se but who really got their _dream_ car?

"That's great, Louis," Harry said with a kind smile, "I don't have one yet--- I'm afraid that it'll be a while before I actually do get one."

"That's okay," Louis said, noticing the look on Harrys face, as if he was ashamed, "there's no rush and the tube is good enough anyways."

"I suppose so."

They walked a little more, shoes squashing on the icy snow.

"This... may be overstepping but," Harry looked at Louis, "can I ask why you're alone on Christmas again this year? You don't--- you don't have to answer it of course."

"No, I really don't mind," Louis cut his worries short. He wasn't the first person that was curious about it and he wouldn't be the last. Besides, Louis has told this story millions of times before, he almost feels robotic telling it now.

"My family... they're not... well, they're not great," he started, wincing. He couldnt really find a better, appropriate word to say without sounding like a total jackass.

"They're very... well off, lets say, and they worry about their reputation a lot. And as the only child, I had a lot of pressure on me from as long as I can remember to do the best and do well," he huffed.

Harry listened intently, brows furrowed. "That must suck; to experience so much of pressure at such a young age."

"It was," Louis hummed, "and I did everything they'd asked of me, even got into med school and they were so happy, you know? I felt like I could finally trust them and be okay with them but," he shook his head, "I was just naive."

"The day after my birthday a few years ago, I finally came out to them and... let's just say it didn't go very well," Louis grimaced to himself. That was an understatement. The slurs and harsh words that were thrown at him were unimaginable, especially coming from parents who supposedly loved their kids no matter what.

"Long story short, they basically disowned me until I 'come to senses with this whole gay thing and realise its just a phase because I can't do that to the family name'," he ended the quote with a bitter scoff.

Harry's steps suddenly came to a halt. Louis stopped a few steps ahead of him, turning to look at Harry in confusion.

"Louis, I'm so sorry that happened to you," Harry said, nothing but sincerity and hurt in his eyes. Louis had never had someone react so emphatically towards him after his story. It was like he'd felt it too.

"It's all right, Harry," Louis smiled sadly, "it's been a few years now and I think I've come to terms with it."

"Still, that shouldn't happen to any child especially from a parent," Harry said indignantly.

"It's really okay," Louis reiterated, "I can't hold onto that part of my life for too long."

Harry still had a stubborn look on his face but he dropped the topic, nodding and starting to walk again. "Have they... have they been in contact with you?"

"They'd normally send me invites to spend Christmas with them but I've learnt after I accepted the first invite that it's just a con to try to suade me and humiliate me even further then when I don't listen, there's a huge fight. So, I'd just rather not go at all. In fact, this year they didn't even bother to send me an invite."

Part of Louis felt hurt at that but he also felt relieved. Like he had one less burden off of his shoulder.

"That's awful. I'm so sorry," Harry said again, looking kind of cross. It was endearing.

"It's all right," Louis shrugged, "now you tell me your story," he nudged Harry with his elbow lightly, hoping he wouldn't mind. Luckily, he didn't seem to mind, giving Louis a small smile too.

"Um, it's... kind of sad but I guess I'm just used to it now so don't--- don't like feel too bad about it or anything, okay?"

Louis frowned but nodded anyways.

"Um, when I was little--- eight to be exact--- my parents and I were heading to my gran's place for a Christmas lunch and the roads were really bad--- snowed in and all that, you know?"

Louis swallowed, nodding. He had a feeling he knew where this was heading.

"Yeah, we were driving and--- and this car came out of nowhere---" Harry shook his head, clearly getting emotional.

Louis stopped him with a gentle but firm hand on Harry's forearm. He pulled Harry to one side of the sidewalk. "You don't have to continue, Harry," he said, hating that Harry was sad now.

"No, it's okay," Harry gave him a weak smile, "I--- I just get choked up at that part 'cause I remember so much of it, you know?" He wiped the underneath of his eyes. "Anyways, long story short, my parents didn't make it and ever since then I just--- I haven't liked Christmas."

"I stayed with my gran until my second last year of school when she'd passed. Then I had to look for a job and I went into the foster system. I wasn't chosen, of course. No one wanted a kid so old. But I was allowed to work and I worked, even though I had to drop out of school."

"Eventually, when I turned eighteen, I found two roommates, went out of the system and stayed with them. I saved up to finish my last year and now I've earned enough to go to college," he smiled.

Louis heart ached for him. He sounded like he had it rough.

"Though I did get almost a full bursary so the financial side of it isn't too bad, so long as I keep up the work, you know?"

"I'm sure you will," Louis said quietly, hoping Harry could hear that he meant it. "And I'm--- I'm really sorry that happened to you, Harry."

"I am too," Harry said, equally as quiet, "anyways," he shook his head, "with your um, parents, do they still pay for your studies? Is that too personal? It is, isn't it? Fuck, I'm sorry."

Louis giggled at him. "It's okay, Harry. And to answer your question, no they don't really. I got a full bursary and I stay with me mate Liam so I'm all covered. I don't owe them shit."

"That's good to hear."

"Thanks for, um, telling me about... you know..."

"Yeah, only fair since I asked you first. So, I guess I should be thanking you too," Harry chuckled a bit.

"No worries. I get asked that question a lot."

"Me too. It doesn't get easier to talk about it though--- at least for me," Harry said.

Louis noticed that he got nervous about some of the things he said, as if he were scared people would disagree and that would be a bad thing. He'd stumble over his last few words as if he were backtracking.

"I think it was like that for me at first, talking about them, you know? But," he shook his head, taking a breath, "after seeing the way they are, it's hard to gain sympathy for them."

He'd never ventured into the topic about his parents deeply to anyone other than Liam before this. And he was surprisingly... okay. He didn't mind talking about it.

"I'm sorry," Harry muttered.

"It's fine," Louis looked up after a while and smiled at Harry. He grinned back, his dimples deep. They were lovely, weren't they?

It was only then that Louis noticed he couldn't recognise where they'd walked to. He stopped, looking around to find any sign of where they were. God, how long had they been walking for?

"We're lost, aren't we?" Harry giggled next to him, "I figured you wouldn't have parked so far away."

"God," Louis groaned, Harry still laughing next to him, "all right, come on let's find our way back."

"Okay," Harry said, through his bloody giggles.

"Come on, it's not that funny," Louis rolled his eyes half-heartedly, walking back from where they came from, "we only walked straight---- shouldn't be too hard."

Harry followed behind Louis, his laughter not subsiding. Louis didn't even mind. He had a cute laugh.

It took a few minutes but they eventually did find their way to Louis' car.

"Do you need a ride back to yours?" Louis asked, just as he opened the door to his car.

"Um," Harry looked down, biting his lip, "if it's too out of your way then I---"

"Harry, its all right. Where about do you stay?"

"About ten minutes away from your campus--- mine too, I suppose. So, um, yeah. Ten minutes away from there," Harry explained.

Louis wasn't sure what it was but Harry seemed much more nervous now than the last time they'd met. He wondered what happened. Was it Louis?

"I don't mind at all, come on," Louis gestured him to the passenger side.

"Thank you," Harry passed him a grateful smile before jumping in.

As they started driving, Louis noticed an amused smile on Harrys face. He frowned. "What?"

"Your seat..." he giggles, "it's, um, it's like into the steering wheel."

Louis rolled his eyes, cheeks hot despite the cold weather. "Shut up."

Harry laughed again. "'M sorry," he said, once he stopped.

"Watch it. Otherwise I'll leave you out in the snow," Louis warned playfully.

Harry pursed his lips together, mirth in his eyes.

Louis smiled to himself.

The ride back wasn't too long and it felt even shorter with Harry next to him. Between his constant changing of the songs on the radio because he 'got bored quickly' and restlessness, shifting on his seat because he 'felt uncomfortable being in one position for too long'.

For a brief moment, Louis wondered what it would be like to go on a road trip with him. That would be... interesting to say the least. And Louis wasn't the type of person to have patience for anything. Why he found this endearing, Louis wasn't quite sure.

"So, this is me..." Harry trailed off, glancing to the building next to them then at Louis, "thank you for the ride."

"You're welcome. Now I know where you live too. Consider it even," Louis winked, hoping he didn't sound too creepy.

Thankfully Harry let out a breathy laugh at that. "Um, if you want to, you can come up. My roommates aren't at home."

Louis widened his eyes, though it was playful and a reminder to what Harry had done the last time.

"Not like that," Harry snorted, shaking his head.

"What then, for a glass of milk?" Louis smiled mirthfully.

"Exactly," Harry grinned widely, "and maybe some _Friends_?"

"Yeah, okay. Sounds good to me," Louis agreed easily. Honestly, he was a little tired but if it meant spending more time with Harry, then so be it.

"Wonderful," Harry smiled before getting out the car, Louis following him.

This time, at least the night would end a little better than the last.

***

**2016**

"Harry, for gods sake, stop moving around so much. You're distracting me," Louis huffed in annoyance.

A whole year. He'd been literally driving with Harry for a whole year and he still could not get used to it. Generally, he would find it endearing. Who could blame him when he had a massive crush on his best mate?

Yeah, massive crush was an understatement. It hadn't taken long for Louis to fall for him. Hell, he probably had a feeling he would when they'd met two years ago in that bloody kitchen.

The only thing was that now... now they were best friends. And Louis loved that he had someone like Harry as his best mate, he really was. Which was why he didn't want to ruin that in any way.

His crush would surely go away sooner or later. Slightly more than crush. He was pretty sure he was, well, sorta, kinda in love with him. But he couldn't think about that for too long otherwise he'd overthink everything.

Right now though, Harry --- his best mate who he was sorta, kinda, in love with--- was getting on his nerves.

"Lou, we've been on the road for over an hour! Give me a break," he whined, moving yet again on his seat, "and change the song, please."

Louis rolled his eyes. Harry could do that himself but of course he was in a mood so he wasn't going to. Louis turned the dial to the next song, trying his best to ignore the groaning, moaning and shuffling coming from Harry next to him.

Now that Louis thought about it, Harry had been acting odd since yesterday. Ever since he'd told Harry that Niall would be joining them at Galia. Not on their roadtrip but just for the festival they had on the beach every year there.

It was like he didn't like Niall. Which was weird because everyone liked Niall. Louis wouldn't say they never got along but they weren't as close as Harry was to Liam or Zayn, for example. Louis figured they just weren't compatible.

But he wouldn't think it would be such a big deal if Niall met them there for a music and food festival. It was just a festival after all. And Niall was alone on Christmas too this year. Sue him for wanting to be nice.

"Harry, love, we're almost there, yeah? Just... take a short nap or count white cars--- something--- just relax, please?"

Harry frowned, looking like a child throwing a tantrum. Louis rolled his eyes, chossing to ignore him for the time being.

If there was anything he'd learnt after being friend's with Harry for a year, it was that when Harry got into one of his moods, he needed his space. Unfortunately, they were both trapped in a car and the most space Louis could give him was in the form of keeping quiet and letting him be.

He'd come around soon and then he'd apologise and Louis would forgive him because it's him, so of course he would. And it really didn't matter, people had their off moments all the time. Lord knew that Louis had a good few of his own. And Harry was nothing but patient with him so it was the least he could do in return. As a friend. A good friend.

Louis swallowed. Right. Friend.

It took another fifteen minutes for them to reach the festival and another fifteen to find a place to set up their tent and then to actually set it up.

There were people setting up tents all over the beach so it was hard to find a proper spot and be happy with it. But they'd eventually found a nice secluded one behind some trees and with a great view of the beach.

By the time they'd gone into the tent with their respective sleeping bag, that was when Harry mumbled a small apology, sat up and looking down at his lap where his hands lay.

"It's fine," Louis said almost instantly, "you gonna tell me what's wrong?"

Harry bit the inside of his cheek, "nothing is wrong."

Louis sighed. "Seriously? You've been like this for the past two days now--- almost three--- something is clearly wrong."

Harry's head snapped up to Louis, his eyes meeting Louis', a little cold. "Am I not allowed to be a bit out of it? God forbid I'm not happy for once," he snapped.

Louis frowned, a little confused at his reaction. He shook his head. So, clearly he needed physical space as well. Was that it? It seemed like it.

Louis got up on his knees and headed out the tent.

"Where are you going?" Harry asked just as he pushed the opening of their tent aside.

Louis looked over his shoulder. "Out. It's clear you need some space so I'm just gonna take a walk or summat."

Harry pursed his lips stubbornly and looked down again. Louis knew he wanted to say something. But, he didn't. With one last sigh, Louis pushed his way out the tent, his feet meeting the soft sand instantly.

He shoved his hands into his pockets and made his way down to the shore of the beach, the water hitting his ankles as he walked. The sun was setting which created a beautiful pink-orange glow to cast across the water. Louis wished Harry could see this. He loved stuff like this.

Maybe if he felt better tomorrow, they could take a walk here and see the sunset together.

Just as Louis took another step, something came right at his feet. He squealed until he noticed it was a little dog--- a spaniel, if he was not mistaken.

He reached down carefully to where the dog was sniffing around his feet, placing a hand in front of it's nose. Once Louis felt okay to pet it, he ran his fingers through the dog's fur.

"What's your name, bug?" Louis questioned out loud, noticing a collar around their neck. He noved it a bit to look at the tag. "Nova," he read out loud, "let's get you back to your owner, yeah?"

Nova wagged her tail happily. Louis beckoned the dog, hoping it followed which it surprisingly did. He wasn't sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing, to be honest.

It didn't take long to find two frantic people searching the shore of the beach for their dog. Who Louis assumed was Nova.

Sure enough, Nova barked loudly upon seeing her owners and charged towsrds them.

Louis smiled, seeing the relief on their faces after finding their dog. Once Louis met them, the lady with short red hair thanked him first, pulling him into a hug.

"Thank you so much for finding her," she said, clearly emotional. She pulled away and then the other lady with black straight hair hugged him.

"God bless you, child," she said when she pulled away. It was weird calling him child when she looked to be around the same age as Louis.

"It's a Christmas miracle!" the lady excalimed.

Red-haired lady with an eyebrow piercing rolled her eyes. "It's been twenty minutes, honey. Don't overreact."

The black-haired lady narrowed her eyes at her, bending down to pick up her dog and cuddling Nova.

"Thank you so much for finding her and bringing her back," red-haired lady said.

"You're welcome," then he extended his hand out, "I'm Louis by the way."

"Heidi," she shook his hand, "and that's my partner Alissa and you've met our Nova already."

"Nice to meet you both," he smiled politely at them.

Alissa walked up to him with Nova in her hands. "You too--- you're here with someone too?"

Heidi nudged Alissa, giving her a look.

"I, uh, yeah I am. He's--- he's in our tent at the moment," Louis answered.

"That's wonderful. We've been coming to this festival every year for the past three years now. It's amazing to come and experience it with your partner," Heidi said, her arm swinging around Alissa and gazing at her lovingly.

Louis' heart fluttered, imagining Harry and himself like that too.

"There's a lot about this festival that's special to me but," Alissa smiled, watery and just as loving, "I have to thank it for giving me the courage to tell her how I really feel about her."

There was a spark in both of their eyes that Louis couldn't help but admire. He'd only wished to have something like that in the future. Preferably with one person in mind.

"Hey, tell you what," Heidi said suddenly, voice bright, "Ali and I are heading to the food stalls in an hour or so, if you and your partner wanna meet us there..."

"Oh," Louis blinked. Right. They thought Harry was his... partner. They were, technically; partners in crime--- that had to count, right?

"No pressure of course. We know how romantic the atmosphere at these festivals can get. If so, we'll be at crafts up and early tomorrow morning," Alissa winked at him, Nova still content in her arms.

"Uh--- um, y-yeah, okay," Louis replied, choosing not to correct them. Part of him---a big part--- loved that they referred to Harry and Louis as a couple.

"Thank you again," Heidi said, "I hope you guys find this festival as full of passion and love as we do."

Louis felt his cheeks grow hot. "Thank you--- and take care of Nova."

"We will," Alissa kissed the top of Nova's head, "enjoy the rest of the festival, Louis."

They waved goodbye and walked to the other side, away from Louis. The sun was set now, the water casting a dim light from the moon, enough for him to find his way back to their tent.

A camping light shone through the orange material of the tent as Louis approached it. He bent down, unzipping it and crawling inside.

"Hi," He greeted Harry timidly, unable to depict his mood yet.

He was still sat up, knees to his chest and chin resting atop them. He gave Louis a half-smile, the one that barely indented his dimples. That was not okay.

Louis sat next to him on his own sleeping bag with a sigh, dragging his legs up to match Harry's position. "You wanna talk now?"

Harry huffed, picking on the loose thread from his sweatpants.

Louis counted to three. "Is this about me asking Niall to meet us here tomorrow?"

Harry turned his head to look at Louis, eyebrows pinched together. All Louis wanted to do was smooth it out with his thumb and place a kiss there. Was that too much to ask?

"I know you aren't Nialls biggest fan but I swear if you give him the chance and get to know him--- properly--- you'll really like him."

"It's not about Niall," he sighed in exasperation, "at least... not really."

"Then what is it?" Louis asked, frustrated. "Because we've been planning this trip for months, Haz, and now we're here and you're---" he cut himself off, sighing instead.

"Is... is there something going on between you and Niall?" Harry blurted out.

Louis went through three emotions in an instant. One, was shock. Because how the fuck had he come to that conclusion? Two, was amusement because how the fuck did he come to that conclusion? And three, was concern, because why had the thought of Niall and Louis being together --- as laughable as it may be--- worry Harry that much?

Louis snorted out a laugh. "What on earth made you think that?"

Harry's frown deepened. "Never mind," he sighed, sounding annoyed, "if you don't wanna tell me, don't."

Louis frowned this time, all amusement lost. "Harry, jesus, Niall and I aren't together--- we never will be, I'll tell you that for sure."

Harry searched his eyes. "Really?"

"Yes, really," Louis stressed, "why would you think that?"

Harry's cheeks turned pink. Louis loved when he blushed.

 _Anyways_.

"I, um," Harry cleared his throat, avoiding Louis' eyes, "it's just... the way you guys are, you know?"

Louis raised an eyebrow, now slightly curious. "No, I really don't."

Harry rolled his eyes. "Like... always close to each other... touching, like in a non-gross way, and you guys basically finish each other's sentences," he mumbled.

"Harry..." Louis had to try and hide his amused smirk.

"What?"

"Love, you realise that is how we are, right?"

Harry blanched at that. "I---I---no, we're not..." he trailed off, probably deep in thought.

Louis frowned. "Why did that bother you so much? You're my best friend, you know that, right? You don't have anything to worry about."

Harrys whole body sagged, as if he were... disappointed? Louis' heart thud wildly behind his ribcage.

"Yeah, I know," he said with a smile that didn't reach his eyes. Louis hated it because he had the prettiest smile. He should always be smiling.

Louis opened his mouth to say something but Harry started to shimmy into his sleeping bag. "Where were you?" He asked Louis instead, turning over to face him.

Louis took a second to adjust to the sudden change of subject before matching Harry's position, underneath his sleeping bag and facing him.

"Just went for a walk, found a dog and then returned the dog to it's owners," he said, tone nonchalant.

Harry's eyes sparkled, finally a smile appeared on his face--- full one with dimples and all. "How on earth?"

"The dog--- her name is Nova--- she just like came at me and we found her owners-- really cute couple. They actually invited us out with them to the market now," Louis said, gauging Harrys reaction. They couldn't really go because Heidi and Alissa thought that they were couple. Most people did actually, so maybe they could. Maybe?

"They're there now?" Harry asked.

"Yeah and tomorrow morning. They offered us to join them at the craft stalls tomorrow," he explained, "do you want to go?"

Harry hummed in thought. Louis couldn't help but admire his... well, his everything. He was just so damn gorgeous it hurt.

"Why not?" He decided with a shrug. "Maybe we need to make more friends," he teased.

Louis rolled his eyes. "Yeah, right."

"I'm tired right now though so maybe tomorrow morning?" Harry asked, biting on his lip.

"Yeah, I'm good with that," Louis smiled. For a brief moment, he'd wanted to lean forward and place a kiss on Harry's forehead. Luckily, he came to his senses and created some distance between them. "I'll turn off the light," he said into the eerily silent night.

"Okay. Night, Lou," Harry said softly.

"Night."

God his crush was going to kill him.

***

The next morning, Louis was woken up by Harry yelling 'Rise and Shine!' Into their tent at arse'o clock in the morning. Needless to say, Louis was a bit of a grump on their way to the craft stalls. He wasn't a morning person in the first place but this... this was something else.

Much to his surprise, Harry seemed enthusiastic to meet Heidi and Alissa (and Nova too). He was tugging on Louis' jumper, asking him whether or not he could spot them yet.

If he were any other person, Louis would have snapped at them by now but Harry wasn't just any other person. He was Harry. Louis couldn't be mad at him even if he'd tried.

"Louis!"

Louis' whipped around to find Alissa waving at him excitedly and beckoning them over.

"There they are," Louis pointed to Alissa.

"Is that Nova?" Harry gasped excitedly, looking at the dog in Alissas hands.

"That would be her," Louis confirmed with a small smile.

Harry started pulling Louis along after that, towards the two ladies and their dog. He let himself smile from how excited Harry seemed. He was at least in much better mood than last night. Louis was counting his blessings.

"Louis, you came," Heidi was the first to pull him into a hug then Alissa. They were huggers then. For sure.

"Yeah, um, sorry we didn't join you last night, we were kind of tired," Louis explained, "oh and this Harry," he snaked his arm around Harry's waist, pulling him close.

"Oh, it's lovely to meet you," Alissa greeted him first, hugging him too, even with Nova in the middle.

"Likewise," Harry replied shyly, "uh, Louis told me about your, um, dog. Nova, right?"

"Yeah, this is our little Nova," Alissa scratched her ears, "thanks to Louis, we found her yesterday after searching for so long--- I was beginning to get too panicked."

"I don't blame you, she seems lovely," Harry smiled down at Nova. Louis could tell that he was itching to pet her.

"Here," Alissa held Nova out a little, much to Harrys excitement. She could probably also tell that he wanted to pet her.

"Thank you," Harry's eyes twinkled when he started scratching her fur, a beaming smile on his face.

"Is there anything in particular you guys want to get from here?" Louis asked them while Harry was occupied with Nova.

"Heidi here wants to look for some stuff for her scrapbooking but otherwise, nothing really. Do you?"

"I want a ceramic item," Harry spoke up before Louis could, "I make collections of ceramics--- plates, pots, statues--- all of those things," he said proudly, straightening up now.

"Oh, well, shall we go forward then?" Heidi asked.

"We shall, lead the way," Louis gestured for them to walk first.

They both gladly took it, leading Harry and Louis through the craft side of the market, stopping here and there when certain things caught either one of the fours eye.

A few minutes later, Harry was walking with Alissa, doting over Nova and talking about Harry's paintings. Apparently Alissa also liked to paint.

"You two are really cute together," Heidi said, walking next to Louis.

Louis glanced at the two ahead of him again and shook his head. "Thanks but... we're actually not together--- not romantically."

Heidi seemed genuinely shocked at this information. She frowned at him. "But you like him?" She stated, but there was also a bit of curiousity in her tone.

"I do," Louis admitted softly, hoping they wouldn't hear.

"Oh boy," Heidi laughed.

"What?"

"Remember what Alissa spoke about last night when we asked you to join us?"

Louis pinched his brows together in thought. "Which part?"

"She told you about how she was thankful this festival gave her courage to be honest and tell me how she felt," Heidi reminded him.

A short wind blew then, causing goosebumps to form on his skin, right at the moment of his realisation.

"Oh," he swallowed, "so what... what do you want me to---"

"Be honest," she cut him off, "if she wasn't going to tell me, I would have. We'd been dancing around our feelings without the other being honest for too long and I was getting tired of it, so I guess we both decided to say fuck it that day. She just happened to do it first."

Louis processed the information with a slow nod. "I--- I'm just scared because what if he doesn't feel the same? What if we ruin our friendship?"

Heidi smirked at him. "You know, he hasn't stopped asking for your approval for anything that's caught his eye?"

Louis frowned. Yeah he'd always done that. He valued Louis' opinion.

"And he keeps looking at you--- when he isn't preoccupied by Nova that is. And not the mention the way he smiles at you," Heidi said.

"The way he smiles at me?" Louis repeated, throat feeling dry.

Harry and Alissa were a good few steps in front of them now, so they wouldn't be able to hear their conversation, especially through the noise.

"With his like whole face you know? He just lights up. We've been out for about forty minutes more or less but the amount of times you've made him smile has to be like a world record or something," she chuckled.

"Really?" Louis asked quietly, looking down at the sand.

"Yes, really," she confirmed, "look, Louis, if you want my advice... I would say be honest with each other before its too late and something happens to your friendship either way. You can't have a friendship where both of you are keeping feelings for each other a secret."

Louis sighed. She was right. Of course she was right. He had to be honest with Harry and from what Heidi had noticed... maybe he felt the same way. He'd never really taken it too seriously with the other boys because they're just... like that. But an outsider telling him that? It made him all the more confident and simultaneously confused. All he knew now was that he had to be honest with Harry. Before they left tomorrow night and before Niall arrived tomorrow morning.

After that, Harry finally found a ceramic to add to his collection; a fairy on a crescent moon. He'd even had the chance to paint it and of course he'd insisted that Louis paint it with him.

Heidi and Alissa chose a horse and painted theirs together too but in Louis' humble opinion, their little fairy on a moon looked way better than theirs. The moon was lilac and her dress was a brilliant blue whike her hair was golden and wings pale pink. Harry also insisted on putting glitter on the cloud. That was painted black. A black glittered cloud.

All-in-all, it didn't look bad at all and Louis was kind of proud of it. With their ceramics in hand, they roamed the rest of the festival, nothing too extravagant catching their eye but they loved the atmosphere of it. It was something Louis wasn't quite sure he could explain.

They retired to their tents after a big helping of tacos and a slice of orange chocolate cake. They sat with sated smiles on their faces and warm cheeks. Louis was happy. After a long time, he was happy.

 _It didn't last for too long because soom Heidi's words came to mind and as soon as the_ _y did, Louis felt like nothing was going to come out of his mouth. It was frustrating him to no end._

Louis wished he could call Heidi from his phone and ask her to explain it to Harry. How he was so crazy about this boy he couldn't even think straight half the time. How whenever he had a bad day, Harry was the only one who knew how to cheer him up. How Harry had already gotten all of Louis without even trying. How he was so in love with him he wished they could be together already without having to go through any of the complications. How whenever Louis thought about his future now, Harry was always in it and right beside him and it scared him to no end but he loved it.

"Louis," Harry spoke before Louis could even utter a sound.

His smile was gone and he looked quite serious, body tense and eyes slightly narrowed before he diverted his gaze to the ground.

"Yeah?" He asked, gulping.

"Why did Alissa ask me how long we've together?"

Louis inhaled sharply. "Um, I--- she assumed we were a couple and---"

"You didn't correct her?" He finished for him, tone undetectable which was kind of scary. "She told me that you knew she thought we were together and you didn't say anything."

Jesus. What now?

"Why didn't you say anything?" Harry asked, finally looking up at Louis again, eyes wide and curious with a hint of another emotion Louis couldn't quite place.

"I--- I don't know. People assume that all the time its no big deal. You're my best friend after all, aren't you?"

He was spewing out bullshit at this point, trying to cover his ass if he was being honest. It didn't seem to be working well, judging by Harry's expression. He seemed ... sad?

"God," Harry breathed out, "stop saying that--- I get it, okay? I get that we're best friends and only best friends, you don't have to keep on reminding me."

_I get that we're best friends and only best friends._

"What--" Louis started but Harry spoke over him again.

"I just don't get why you say things like that one minute but then you let people assume that we're together at the same time. God, that's so fucked up," he sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose.

And wait--- wait. God, Louis was going to throw up.

"Harry---"

Again, Harry interrupted him.

"I hate that I feel this way about you because you've made it clear that you only want us to be friends but I feel like I'm dying keeping this inside of me for so long."

Much to Louis' horror, Harry sobbed. Louis' eyes widened, heart beating wildly in his ears. Holy fuck.

"I--- I think I'm in love with you," Harry admitted, voice soft, unsure and distant, "and I'm sorry but I just had to say it out loud, okay? I know how you feel since you've made it so clear but you don't know how I feel so I thought it would only be fair if I was h---"

Louis leapt forward and shut him up with a kiss. It was a bit harsh; his lips met Harry's with too much of force and he was pretty sure his teeth cut some of his lip--- maybe Harry's too but it was fucking perfect. Sparks shot down to his bloody toes and Louis loved it. And Harry kissed back. After the initial shock of it all, he'd kissed back.

Louis felt like he was on cloud nine.

It was a short kiss, barely five seconds, before Louis pulled away slowly, meeting Harrys unceratin gaze.

"Was that--- was that a pity thing or something 'cause I don't---"

"Shhh," Louis placed his forefinger on Harry's lips to keep him quiet.

Harry pursed his lips, Louis removing his finger.

"Can I speak now?" He asked. Harry nodded, lips still pursed and eyes curious.

"Thank you," Louis sighed, "I--- I've been trying to find a way around my feelings for you lately."

Harry's eyes widen, searching Louis'.

"I've loved you for the longest time, I swear it feels like an eternity and I didn't--- I didn't tell you because I was scared you wouldn't feel the same. I let Heidi and Alissa think we're together because--- because the thought made me happy and I know it's pathetic but---"

This time he was cut off by Harry's lips, warm and less harsh as the last time. He stood on his knees hovering over Louis, cupping his face and kissing him softly.

Louis' hands timidly came up to Harry's waist, holding him there--- close.

"You're an idiot," Harry said, pulling away and letting his forehead rest on Louis', "and apparently so am I."

They both chuckled, a little wet but happy ultimately.

"I--- you feel the same about me then?" Louis couldn't help but ask for confirmation.

Harry nodded jerkily, sitting down properly this time but close to Louis still. "Yeah I ... I kinda sorta, have feelings for you," he admitted shyly.

Louis beamed. "Is that why you were so jealous about Niall? Why your mood was so foul?"

"Yeah," Harry grumbled. "I thought you two were a thing and then you invited him on our 'I hate Christmas getaway' so I thought for sure you had a thing for him or summat."

Louis barked out a laugh because the idea that he'd be interested in anyone other than Harry, let alone Niall, was actually ridiculous. He'd have to tell Niall this tomorrow. Harry would never hear the end of it.

"You were jealous," Louis said, endeared, "as if I could ever even look at someone the way I look at you."

A small smile appeared on Harry's face, his hands moving to cup Louis' face again. "And how exactly do you look at me?"

"Well," Louis licked his lips, cheeks hot and heartbeat erratic, "like you're the moon."

"The moon?" Harry asked, tilting his head a little.

"Yeah... bright, and all at once. Lighting up something dark and demanding attention because you're just so..." Louis swallowed.

"So?" Harry prompted.

"Beautiful," he answered.

Harry's cheeks redden then and Louis had to kiss him again because he couldn't quite believe this was happening. This was actulaly happening. This was out of his wildest fantasies only hours ago and now--- now he's in a bloody tent, kissing the boy he loved. And the said boy felt the same about him.

God it was all too surreal.

This time their kiss was more certain and sure even if their lips shook a little and hands trembled, still unsure. It was just perfect. It was even more than Louis had hoped for.

Their noses nudged together cutely that made them both smile into the kiss and pull away from each other. Harry's thumb stroked hus cheekbone, eyes glued on Louis'.

"I can't believe this is happening," he admitted, eyes full of emotion.

"Me neither," Louis laughed, a little breathless at that.

"You--- you're sure you mean it though? You're not just, like, saying it out of pity or anything?" Harry asked with that same insecurity he's had since Louis had met him.

Louis let out a sigh. "Harry, I wouldn't do that. You know that."

He wanted to say more but he wasn't sure what exactly he could say right now, especially since everything had just happened and they'd only just been honest about their feelings. Louis didn't wanna overwhelm him.

"You're right I'm just---" he shook his head, looking at Louis as if he was in awe. It made Louis blush. "I'm just finding it hard to believe--- I've had a crush on you for ages."

Louis couldn't help but laugh. "Me too," he confessed quietly, "probably since I saw you drinking bloody milk at the party."

Harry laughed too, the sound soft and airy. God, Louis really loved him.

"I can't believe we didn't say anything," Harry huffed.

"It's all right," Louis said, determined to stay optimistic because he had this wonderful boy in his arms god dammit, "we're here now."

"What do you, um, wanna do about..." Harry gave him an expectant look.

"Well, you said you love me, if I remember correctly," Louis teased, making Harry blush this time, "and I love you too... so..."

"So?"

"So, let's take it a day at a time? I--- I know how you feel and you know how I feel but I still don't wanna rush anything between us, okay? I want us to take our time; do it right."

He waited nervously for Harry's reaction and was pleasantly surprised when he nodded.

"I understand," Harry said, "I think--- I think that's a good idea."

"Me too," Louis smiled.

Harry grinned back. "On that note... would you like to go out on a date with me when we get back?"

"Hmm gonna try to woo me?" Louis traced the skin over his hip gingerly.

"Gonna try my best."

"You don't have to. You already got me," Louis said softly, meaning every word.

"And you've already got me," Harry said, equally as significant.

***

Niall was... not surprised. Not even one bit. Louis didn't know if that was a good thing or bad thing. But then Liam and Zayn also weren't surprised. So maybe it was a good thing then? Louis didn't really know. He didn't dwell on it too much because it had only been two weeks and he couldn't keep his hands off of Harry--- in a cute way of course. Nothing dirty. At least not yet.

They'd spent as much time together now as they had when they were just friends though like Louis reminded himself, it had only been about two weeks now.

But he found that he didn't really care when it came to Harry. He wanted to spend as much time as possible with him always. He only hoped he didn't get too clingy because that was the last thing Harry needed. He didn't want to overwhelm him. Which was why he also hadn't said the l-word again since that night in the tent at the festival.

And it was kind of killing him because it was just... it was something that came as easy to him as breathing. Just wake up, tell Harry he loved him and have breakfast. He was at Louis' place more often than not anyways.

Their relationship lines were blurred, needless to say. But they never bothered with labels anyways. One day Harry was a stranger the next he was one of Louis' best friends.

During their third week of being together, Harry was surprisingly the one who broke the l-word spell. They were sleepy, cuddled up on the couch; Harry's leg intertwined with Louis' and his head on Louis' shoulder while they munched lazily on some store-bought french toast. It wasn't as good as Harry's.

Harry sighed for what felt like the fifteenth time since they'd woken up.

"What is it, love?"

"Do you love me?" He asked, removing his head from Louis' shoulder.

"I'm--- what?" Louis asked, taken by surprise.

"Do you love me or did you just say it because I did? Because I do, love you, I mean," Harry said, a faint blush on his cheeks.

"I--- I do," Louis blurted out, laughing a little, "I do love you I just didn't want to... I don't know... overwhelm you? We kind of went head first into a romantic relationship, you know?"

Harry's eyebrows pinched together, forward wrinkled as he played with the piece of toast in syrup. "So, what are you saying? Do you not--- do you not wanna be together?"

Louis' eyes widened, alarmed. God he was fucking this up already. What the fuck.

"No!--- I mean yes!--- I mean," he sighed, "of course I do want to be with you but it's just a little uncertain on how to go about things, you know. Normal couples don't say 'I love you' until like, I don't know, two months?" He chuckled nervously.

"Louis, we're not really a normal couple, if you haven't noticed," Harry said, still frowning, "I just... I've loved you for so long..."

"I've loved _you_ for so long," Louis shifted, pushing his plate to one side and faces Harry, pulling his own plate away and next to Louis'. He grabbed Harry's hands into his own. "You have no idea how much I love you, Harry," he said fiercely, "I'm just so scared to do or say the wrong thing and lose you."

Harry smiled, a little watery. "Louis, you're not going to lose me. Stop being so dramatic for one second," he laughed.

Louis joined him, laughing at himself. He could be dramatic from time to time. Sue him.

"Just be honest with me and we'll be fine, yeah? We don't need to be like other couples. We just need to be us," Harry said, squeezing Louis' hands.

And he was right. God, Harry was right. Why was he always right?

"Okay," Louis agreed.

"Good," Harry grinned, leaning forward and giving Louis a kiss on his nose.

Louis scrunched his nose, wriggling it a little big.

"Come on, cuddle me," Harry turned to him again, tucking his face into Louis' neck and maneuvering Louis around until he was comfortable enough.

Louis let out a soft laugh, pulling Harry closer. He was right, Louis thought again, placing a kiss on his hairline, they weren't a normal couple and that was okay. As long as they were honest with each other and Louis had Harry next to him, they'd be okay.

***

**2017**

This wasn't their first fight, definitely not. They'd had plenty fights during the year about a dozen different things. This was one was different though. Harry had never just took off before. And it was so out of character for him to do. That was something Louis would do, not Harry.

Which meant Louis had really fucked up and he knew that. But he was also stubborn, even more than Harry was, which meant he wasn't ready to apologise. Not yet.

After all, it was Harry that left while it was _still_ Louis' birthday. And he wasn't answering his phone either.

It was half eleven at night, they were in a post-orgasm haze, their sweaty bodies intertwined. Harry was drawing patterns on Louis' belly and he just--- he suggested they celebrate Christmas this year and Louis wasn't expecting that.

And truthfully, he hadn't wanted that. Their whole anti-christmas thing was a tradition of theirs for the past few years. They couldn't just break it. Which was exactly what he'd said to Harry and apparently Harry didn't like that.

He moved away from Louis, frowning at him. "What's so wrong about wanting to celebrate it this year, Lou? I just--- I just want to celebrate it for a change."

Louis looked at him incredulously. "What's gotten into you?"

"Nothings gotten into me," he rolled his eyes with a huff, "I just," he shrugged, playing with the sheet, "I want to celebrate it..."

Louis scoffed out a laugh. He hadn't meant for it to sound patronising or anything but it'd hurt Harry, that much was evident.

"Fine," Harry grumbled, pushing himself out of bed and pulling on some boxers.

"Harry, come on, love. Don't be ridiculous," Louis sighed, sitting up. He watched as Harry pulled his jumper over his head then his joggers.

"I just," Harry whipped around, face red with agitation, "I just asked to celebrate it for a change, that's all." His tone was tired and defeated.

"I thought we both didn't like this holiday. What makes you want to celebrate it now all of a sudden?"

"Louis, so many people do," Harry said tiredly, pulling out his boots, "why can't we? Plus it's sort of, kind of an anniversary, isn't it?"

"Okay, no. We agreed that we'd celebrate it on the 28th. Our first date, remember?"

Harry groaned, one hand tugging his hair in frustration. "That's not the point," he said, pulling on his boots now, sitting at the edge of the bed, "I'm just saying that couples celebrate Christmas together so why can't we?"

Louis raised an eyebrow at him, also agitated now. "Since when are we like every other couple? I thought that's what we aren't? Not like normal couples, right? So now what?"

Harry pursed his lips, shaking his head. "You don't get it," he said, sad and tired.

"Where are you going?" Louis asked, slightly alarmed.

"Out," was all he said before walking out the door.

Louis frowned, jumping out of bed and putting on his own boxers. As he walked out of the door of the room, the front door just shut closed. He groaned, hitting the side of the wall and squeezing his eyes shut.

Okay, they could have handled that way better. It was just that he just sprang the whole thing on Louis. He'd never discussed this beforehand and now, a few hours before Christmas, he just---

Louis gasped softly, realisation hitting him. He'd been dropping hints the whole week, hadn't he? When they'd gone to the mall a few days ago, he'd stopped to look at the overly expensive trees. He'd even indulged in some of the Christmas music they played on the radio. God, Louis wasn't good at picking up hints, clearly.

Still, he wasn't sure he would have agreed to it then anyways. Even now, he wasn't just automatically convinced. Did Harry think that was going to just happen? Christmas was something Louis swore off of years ago and Harry and him--- they'd always been in sync with each other. Now--- now, this was not... something he was used to.

If there was something Louis knew about Harry it was that he needed space when he was upset. He had his days where he'd just needed time to himself and Louis understood that.

Only now, it was ten the next morning and Harry hadn't come home yet. Louis was panicking. He'd tried Harry's cell about ten times now and god he was so mad but he was also feeling so guilty.

He didn't know what to do. So, he phoned Niall.

"Is he back?" Niall asked in leiu of a greeting.

"No," Louis sighed, "and he isn't answering his phone either."

"God what did you fight about?"

"I told you," Louis sighed.

"Well then do something about it," Niall said as if it were so simple.

"Like what?"

"Get him a present at least, a tree or even a fucking reindeer I don't know, _something_ ," Niall huffed.

"But---" Louis cut himself off.

"Consider it a peace offering. An olive branch. A truce," he continued, "I know how much you hate today, Louis, but you have to understand that not everyone is like you."

"But he hates it too," Louis protested, "that's the reason why we don't do anything for today because we've just disowned it as a holiday and now..."

"Maybe he just wants to try celebrating it for once because he's actually happy?"

It hit Louis like a truck. Something so simple as being happy made him want to celebrate this dreadful day.

"Why?" Louis asked quietly.

"Because he's finally with someone he loves and they're right there with him," Niall explained.

Why was he so wise? It wasn't fair.

"And Lou,"

He seemed hesitant now.

"Yeah?"

"Your circumstances are different. You left your parents. His parents left him."

Louis inhaled sharply. God he was right. Louis never got on with his parents and when they reacted the way they did, it wasn't that he didn't feel hurt, he'd just felt easier to let them go. And apparently so did they, considering the fact that he hadn't gotten an invitation again this year and he was okay with it. He was more than fine with it.

But with Harry, god, he lost his parents. His parents weren't like Louis', at least not from Harry told him he remembered about and he missed them. All the time. He spoke about them all the time.

Louis' hatred for the holiday was fueled by anger whereas Harrys was fueled by grief. And while one was not more important than the other, like Niall said, it was different circumstances.

"Okay, I think I know what to do but it isn't going to be easy and I need to know that he's okay first," Louis said, determined now.

"I'll ask Zayn to try and phone him and Li will check his flat or ask one of his roommates and I'll let you know. What else do you need?"

"Do you by any chance have a tree?"

"I do."

Louis grinned. Brilliant.

Turned out, Liam knew where Harry was but he hadn't said anything, assuming that everyone did. He said that Harry messaged him early in the morning to say that he would be taking a drive and he would come back later.

And they weren't sure what time later was but knowing he was more or less okay brought some ease to Louis' mind even it was in the slightest.

So Niall, Liam and Zayn came over to help Louis. He was thankful that they hadn't gone home this year, as horrible as it may sound. He needed their help desperately and he wouldn't have been able to pull any of this off without them. Especially not Zayn and his magical powers with bloody wiring, electronics--- all that jazz.

Now, it was five in the afternoon and they'd just finished up, Harry wasn't home yet which was bittersweet.

"Good luck, Lou," Niall hugged him.

"Yeah, let us know how it goes," Zayn did the same, patting his back.

"I think it's great what you're doing, you know?" Liam smiled softly at him. "I know it isn't your favourite but what you're doing, it's lovely."

"I hope he thinks so too," Louis breathed out, scanning their set up worriedly.

"He will, Louis. Don't worry," Zayn reassured him with a wink.

"Now let's get out of your hair," Niall ushered them all out the front door, "and good luck again, Lou," Niall said before walking out himself.

He shut the door behind Niall and let out a heavy exhale. Now, he waited.

He had to wait for about another two hours before he finally heard the front door open again, Harry with his checkered coat on and a carton of--- of milk, of course, in his hand.

Louis smiled. He missed him so much already. He hadn't noticed Louis sitting at the dining table yet, considering that their house was in complete darkness.

He pushed off his coat and then placed the keys with the carton on the table near the door.

Harry pushed the switch first to try and turn the light on but the usual passageway and lounge light didn't turn on. Other lights did instead.

Harry, perplexed, turned around to see the colourful lights decorating the small living room, face lighting up in awe. Then the song started to play and the lights shifted from the tree to the fireplace to the Merry Christmas sign in accordance to the beat of the song.

Harry was so caught up in everything he hadn't even seen Louis yet so Louis snuck up behind him and wrapped his arms around his waist, startling Harry a little.

"Lou," Harry breathed out, eyes twinkling with the lights, "what is all of this?"

"Just... you know, some Christmas stuff," Louis rested his chin on Harry's shoulder, proud of how well the lights worked with their song.

Harry shook his head, still studying the room in awe. He turned around in Louis' arms, kissing him instantly.

Louis kissed back. Of course he did. He held Harry close, squeezing his waist. When he tasted salt in their kiss, Louis pulled away, concerned. He tried to study Harry's face but he hid in the crook of Louis' neck quickly, sobbing softly.

Jesus. Louis could feel his heart breaking.

"Harry, baby, what's wrong?" Louis asked, rubbing his thumb over the bottom of his spine.

Harry held onto the back of Louis' jumper tightly, crying still. Louis kissed whatever he could reach--- probably the side of his face--- and frowned when he realised that it was wet. God he really was bawling. What the fuck had happened?

"Baby," Louis said helplessly, squeezing him into a tighter hug just as the song finished and the small flat went dark again.

He didn't say anything else, only heard Harry cry into his jumper, sobbing and holding onto Louis like a lifeline. He didn't want to push Harry into saying anything, especially if he wasn't ready to.

Instead, they stood near the dining table, while Harry cried and Louis tried to comfort him as much as he could, placing kisses on his cheek or hair and rubbing his back until his sobs subsided. Then they swayed because he knew it calmed Harry down.

"Sorry," Harry eventually mumbled, voice hoarse.

"Don't. Don't apologise," Louis said gently but firmly, "it's okay."

"It's not," Harry sighed, his breath warm against Louis' neck, "I shouldn't have left like that. I should have told you where I was--- I know how worried you were."

"Yeah, you should have," Louis said honestly, "but you're here now and you're okay--- physically at least."

Harry chuckled softly against him and pulled away. "There's an ache in my neck now," he pouted, rubbing the back of his neck.

Louis rolled his eyes, slapping his bum teasingly. "I'm not short you bloody tree."

Harry giggled, cheeks wet and stick and nose red. He was really beautiful.

"Thank you so much," Harry said, moving a piece of hair away from Louis' forehead.

"It's okay," Louis grinned, "you want some tea? You can turn on the lights on the tree again, if you'd like."

"Yeah?" Harry grinned, small and kind of tired.

"Yeah," Louis pecked him sweetly, "we'll have a cuddle, okay? Then we can talk."

"Okay, yeah," Harry agreed easily. Then they separated and Louis stepped into the kitchen while Harry leaned down by the tree to switch it on before sitting down on the couch, grabbing the blanket and covering himself with it.

Louis smiled, putting the kettle on and grabbing their mugs. One of them was a ceramic mug Harry had gotten from Niall from Ireland that Harry adored.

When he walked to the couch, he handed Harry his tea and sat down next to him. Harry wasted no time, cuddling up to him. Louis welcomed him with opened arms, snaking his arm around Harry's shoulders.

"I'm sorry I walked out like that... especially on your birthday, god, I'm awful," Harry sighed.

"Look, it's okay, yeah? I'm sorry I didn't hear you out. It's just... this whole Christmas thing is not my thing, you know? Memories are just tainted and---and I thought you felt the exact the same way I do but I realise now that it's kind of different for you," Louis said carefully.

"How?" Harry asked, though it was like he was testing Louis on something he already knew.

"With my parents ... they're just plain horrible and I despise them, so I left, but with you and your parents... you didn't ask for them to leave," he ended with a kiss on Harry's forehead, just in case.

"I didn't," Harry confirmed, his fingers running through the fur of the blanket. He tended to try and keep his fingers busy whenever he was anxious or nervous. "I just... I miss them so much," he admitted, voice cracking.

"Harry," Louis said sympathetically, "I'm sorry, love."

"It's okay, I just... I missed them a lot recently and I guess it's because I forgot what it was like to be so... happy and loved that it hit me all at once. I'm sorry," Harry snuggled closer.

"It's fine," Louis said. He had a feeling that that would be the reason why he acted that way, more or less at least. His heart broke for the boy though. He'd been through a lot and even though they'd both spoken about their experiences thoroughly, it didn't mean it didn't hurt anymore. At least not in Harry's case.

"How did you get all of this?" Harry asked, eyes on the lit up tree.

"Niall gave me his tree," Louis grinned, "and Li and Zayn came over to help me earlier on."

Harry turned his head, looking at Louis. "You're just... you're amazing, you know that?" He whispered.

Louis blushed, nudging their noses together. "Just hopelessly in love with you."

"Sap," Harry scoffed but his cheeks were red, visible even in the dim lighting.

Louis grinned a bit before getting more serious and tilting Harry's head up to look at him. "Hey, I just want you to know that you can always speak to me about these things, yeah? I know I can be a stubborn git sometimes but it's you and I'd do anything for you. As you can see," he chuckled.

"I can see that. I'm sorry I pushed you to do something I know you don't love. I just... like I said, I've been missing them a lot lately and I've been thinking back to the christmases I remember spending with them."

"I love you," Louis said because he could and he had to, "I do hate this holiday but I can see that you were affected by it even more this year just in a different way so I compromised," he shrugged.

Harry rolled his eyes. "One day you're going to love this holiday, just you wait and see."

Louis bit his tongue, just humming. If there was one thing he was sure of it was that he would never grow to love this holiday but Harry didn't need to know that nor did they have to have another argument. As it was, he'd hated fighting with Harry.

"I love you more than anything," Harry said, capturing Louis' lips sweetly, "sunflower," he teased, kissing Louis' nose.

Louis groaned, wiping his nose. "Again with that horrible nickname."

"It's not horrible," Harry squawked, offended, "it's sweet!"

"How is that sweet?"

"You're a sunflower. Who doesn't like sunflowers? And they're really pretty," Harry said, taking a sip of his tea.

"You think I'm pretty?" Louis asked, poking Harrys side, his cheeks flushed.

"The prettiest," Harry said, even though his smile was playful, Louis could tell by his eyes that he was serious too.

"God, you feed my ego way too much," Louis shook his head.

"And you can never take a compliment," Harry sighed, "which is why I'm gonna keep on giving 'em to you."

"Fair enough," Louis sighed dramatically, "don't complain when I shower you with my love either."

"Yeah 'cause I'd complain when I get too much attention," Harry scoffed, taking another sip of his tea. God Louis' must be cold by now.

With that in mind, he placed his cup on the coffee table and cuddled with Harry a little closer.

"Not drinking your tea, babe?" Harry asked.

"Nah, 's too cold by now anyways," Louis kissed his nose, then forehead and finally his lips, delighted to see him beaming at Louis.

"Louis," he said quietly, staring intently at him.

"Harry?"

"Thank you for loving me," Harry said, voice cracking, "I never thought I'd feel it again."

Jesus. Louis was pretty sure he was close to crying now. "Harry, you don't have to thank me for that, god, the pleasure is all mine--- believe me--- I should be thanking you for loving a goof like me."

Harry giggled softly. "My goof," he grinned, kissing Louis again.

Louis felt content. He was so happy. He realised that Harry had been right. Hed never felt this happy on Christmas before. And it was all thanks to this wonderful, stubborn boy in his arms who was still sipping on his cold tea and Louis knew it was just because he'd made it for Harry.

He knew they had some problems to deal with and that this probably wasn't their last fight but Louis'd never been more in love.

***

**2018**

"It's a Christmas party," Louis said flatly.

"House-warming," Harry corrected again, still as gentle and fond as the other times he'd done that since they'd agreed to this damn thing.

"On Christmas day where they'll also be serving lunch and their parents will be there?" He gave Harry a pointed look.

Harry rolled his eyes, pulling on a green sweater. "Zayn doesn't even really celebrate Christmas, you know that, and anyways if you're so against it why did you agree on going in the first place?"

Good question. Valid question. Also a very valid, good answer. Louis hid his grin, pulling on his on sweater instead, hoping the box in his pants wasn't too obvious. He'd never realise they'd gotten that big. In all those movies he watched, people could fit them in their bloody skinnies. That was most definitely not possible. Or maybe he'd just gotten a ring way too big.

"Lou, look," Harry said, holding his arms out and displaying his sweater. It was a green sweater that said _stay away from toxic people_.

Louis scanned him up and down, nodding in approval. Even with his brown pants and green sweater, looking like frickin Shaggy from Scooby-doo, he looked gorgeous. Louis didn't know how he pulled that shit off.

"You're amazing," Louis grinned.

Harry blushed, shaking his head. Louis missed the way his long curls used to fall on face whenever he'd shake his head. He still loved the short curlies though. Made him look adorable.

"You're wearing the sweater I bought you," Harry walked up to Louis, straightening the material out over Louis' shoulders. "It looks nice."

"Thanks, love," Louis rested his hands on Harry's waist, kissing him softly.

Kissing Harry was something he didn't think he'd ever get used to. In the best way. Every time felt like the first time in that bloody tent, two years ago. Everything with Harry was thrilling and exciting and Louis wanted to keep him forever. Which was why he had a great plan for later.

Zayn and Liam's new place was lovely and the backgarden outside the lobby of the building was even lovelier. It was the perfect place to propose which is the major reason why he'd agreed to this. Well, he was happy for his friends too but he knew they were just throwing a Christmas party without actually calling it that.

And the last time he went to one of those Christmas parties... well, he'd met Harry. So it was... sentimental. Meet at one and propose at one years later. It only made sense.

Louis kissed him again just because he could, Harry laughing against his lips but kissing back anyway.

"You know, we can just skip the Christmas party and stay in bed all day," Louis said between small pecks and squeezed his bum playfully. He wasn't even surprised that Harry didn't even flinch.

Harry pushed him away. "Lou, we promised we'd go, come on," he pecked him one more time before turning around, "and it's a house-warming party," he said over his shoulder before walking out of the room.

Louis groaned. His palms were sweaty and he was pretty sure that he would be showing sweat stains right now if the material and colour of his sweater were different. He could hear Harry already picking up the car keys so he hurried out of the room, patting his pocket just to be sure, and headed for their car.

Of course Zayn and Liam's place was amazing. Louis'd already said as much. But coming back into it, it was just surreal. They'd really scored with such a great place.

"We should move into a bigger place," Louis stupidly blurted out as they follow Zayn into the kitchen to put away the wine they'd bought.

Harry's eyes widen, glancing at Louis then back at Zayn in front of them. Zayn didn't seem to hear them.

"Lou, where is this coming from?"

"I don't--- I don't know," Louis blanched a little because _where was this coming from_? He needed to propose first god dammit.

"Um, all right," Harry answered, clearing his throat, "I mean, do you really think that's a good idea? We only just moved into your place together."

Louis looked at him as they step into the kitchen. "I---"

"Harry put this right on the top shelf for me, would you?" Zayn asked.

Harry nodded, passing Louis a look before doing what Zayn said.

Louis wasn't going to lie and say that Harry's response didnt bother him but he also knew that Harry's response was probably a good one to his impulsive thinking. He shook it off. Who even said shit like that especially now?

God he was just so bloody nervous he was going to spew out weird shit the whole time until after their lunch.

"Louis, dear," Karen, Liam's mum came towards him, instantly pulling him into a hug.

"Lovely to see you again, Karen," He said, kissing her cheek before pulling away.

"Lovely to see you too. Merry Christmas," she grinned.

"To you too," Louis returned with a pursed smile. Then he spotted Harry walked towards them. "Karen, have you met my boyfriend, Harry?"

He grabbed Harry's elbow gently, pulling him to Louis' side and resting his hand on his waist.

"Hello, my name is Harry. Nice to meet you," he extended his hand for her to shake. She already seemed endeared by him, bypassing his handshake offering and pulling him into a hug. Of course he happily returned the hug.

"Merry Christmas," he said to her with a smile, "do you like your son and Zayn's new place?"

"Merry Christmas to you too, darling," she said with a grin, "and yes I do, it's absolutely lovely."

"I agree," Harry said back, popping that charming smile.

"Aren't you charming?" She said, pinching his cheek. "You boys gonna help set up?"

"Yeah, of course," Louis said, "lead the way."

They greeted Zayn's mum and sisters when they'd went into the kitchen again and were assigned tasks by Liam to do to set up the table and organise the food.

"Do you have it?" Liam whispered harshly, pulling him aside.

"Yes, I have it. And you need a mint," Louis scowled, pulling his hand away from Liam's grip.

Liam seemed unbothered by Louis' snark, making a weird expression with his face, like he was looking at a baby. "Oh, god I'm so happy for you guys!"

"He hasn't even said yes yet, Li," Louis laughed at his dramatics.

"Yeah but we all know he will," Liam grabbed his face and kissed his forehead, "let's get some chow, yeah?"

"Yeah--- hey, you didn't tell anyone, right? Not even Zayn?"

"Didn't say a word."

Louis narrowed his eyes at him.

"I swear!"

"Fine," Louis relented, "let's go before they get suspicious."

Louis didn't have much of an appetite throughout the lunch which didn't go unnoticed by Harry. Of course it didn't.

"Lou, are you feeling okay?" He asked, placing a hand on Louis' thigh.

"Y-yeah, just not as hungry as I thought I was," Louis replied, clearing his throat, "had a big breakfast."

"You didn't eat anything this morning, Lou. We both didn't, remember?" Harry asked, perplexed.

"No---yeah, I mean--- I had a lot to eat before and---" he shook his head, suddenly feeling overwhelmed.

It wasn't that he had doubts about proposing or even that Harry would say no. He was just... scared. Every doubt he'd ever had since he'd been born felt like they'd just come crashing down.

"Do you wanna go outside, honey?"

"Yes," Louis said, much too loudly at that.

Luckily only Liam and Zayn's mum seemed to have heard him. They passed him questioning looks but nothing else.

"Uh, excuse us. We're just gonna take a walk for a bit," Harry said, getting up from his chair. He held his hand out and waited for Louis to do the same.

Louis made sure not to stumble out of his chair, noticing Liam grinning at him like a mad man but--- but so was Zayn. Fuck. He was going to fucking kill Liam. Could they go two minutes without speaking to each other?

"Come on, Lou," Harry said, grabbing Louis' hand.

"Garden downstairs?" Louis sputtered, remembering that he had a plan.

A slow smile spread across his face. "I was going there anyway."

Louis chuckled a bit. God he was so perfect. Louis adored him. He loved him more than anything.

They were more or less silent until they'd gone down to the back garden, the sun growing dimmer and retreating into warm ambers. The light hit Harry so beautifully, Louis was sure his breath was taken away.

"You going to tell me why you were you upset, Lou?" Harry asked, tugging him along the small stoned pathway that led to a small fountain under an archway.

"I wasn't upset," Louis frowned, "just didn't have much of an appetite. This is helping though," he said, looking down at their intertwined hands and the scenery.

"I'm glad. I knew you'd like it here," Harry said with a crooked smile. Louis' heart skipped a beat.

"Louis-"

"Harry-"

They both laughed.

"You go first," Louis insisted, rubbing his thumb over the skin on Harry's hand.

"Okay," he let out a breath and pulled Louis until they were under the archway that was covered in ivy.

"Louis, I--- I honestly don't know where to start with you. I guess I can start with saying how much I love you," Harry said, tears already in his eyes, "and that I'm so grateful that you weren't feeling well because I've been trying to come up with a plan to get you here," he laughed, a little wet.

Louis--- Louis wasn't sure what to say.

"Harry---"

"Wait, Lou. You said me first, remember?"

Louis pursed his lips. Fuck. Okay. He had an idea where this was heading but he was praying to every god that he was wrong.

"Louis Tomlinson, I love you more than words can explain and I can't imagine spending the rest of my life with anyone else but you. You're my light, my sunflower," he giggled a bit, "my soulmate," then he went down on one knee and pulled out a box from his bloody brown pants, opening it in front of Louis, "will you marry me?"

 _Fuck_.

"Shit," Louis couldn't help but curse because 1) he was supposed to do all of this dammit and 2) Harry was so fucking cute and he looked all worried an confused, a golden ring in a box laying out in the open for Louis to see. It was Louis', holy crap.

"Lou?" He asked worriedly.

"Shit, baby, get up," Louis said gently, holding his hand out. Harry looked crestfallen, still accepting Louis' hand though and standing up properly.

"Is everything... did I do it too soon? We don't--- we can pretend that never happened and I---"

Louis cut him off with a hard kiss, pulling away with a smile and meeting Harry's confused expression.

"I was going to do that," Louis sighed, a little disappointed because part of him always wanted to be first, he couldn't help it. "I was going to take you down here and propose," he pulled out his own box and showed it to Harry, "I wasn't upset, I was nervous, love."

When Louis looked up again, Harry's tears were falling down his cheeks this time.

"You were gonna--- You were gonna propose, oh my god," Harry covered his mouth, letting out a happy but watery laugh.

"Yeah, yeah," Louis rolled his eyes, "now please just indulge me? I planned this whole thing out for months."

Harry's eyes soften. "Months?"

"I mean I've been picturing you as my life partner since--- probably since the moment we met, really."

"Right," Harry scoffed.

"Anyways," he continued, "my milk-loving, snore-like-a-whale, kind, funny, incredible boy," he goes down on one knee and opened up his own box, "will you marry me?"

Harry was full on crying now but he managed to crack a playful smile. "That depends on what your answer is," he said.

And what?

Harry showed him the box again. "I did it first remember? You still haven't given me an answer."

"Shit. Yes, baby. Of course," he laughed , "now will _you_ marry me?"

"'Course I will, honey," Harry bent down, kissing him slowly, face still damp. "Give me mine and I'll give you yours."

Louis took Harry's ring out of the box and slid it onto his ring finger, breathing out a sigh of relief when he saw Harry's face. He loved it. Good.

"It's so gorgeous," Harry laughed, sniffing and admiring it up in the little bit of light left from the sky.

"I'm so glad you like it," Louis grinned.

"Wait, here," Harry pulled out the ring from his box and grabbed Louis' hand. The ring Harry chose was beautiful. He wasn't surprised. Harry knew him better than he knew himself. It was a simple gold band but with three small diamonds across it. It was perfect.

"Thank you, love. I love it," Louis kissed him again, both of them still on their knees.

They'd spent way too long on their knees in the grass to the point where it was actually aching when they made their way back to Zayn's and Liam's.

When they went back in, everyone cheered. Everyone. Literally everyone. God, Louis was going to kill Liam.

"Did you say yes?" Liam asked but Zayn did too except he'd asked Harry, not Louis.

Then they looked at each other, confused. Louis and Harry seemed to come to a realisation, laughing.

"You knew?" Zayn and Liam said in unison.

"I think there's been a misunderstanding," Harry said through a laugh. Then they both held up their hands to show their rings.

"Oh my god," Zayn groaned.

"Do you guys really have to do everything in sync with each other?" Liam huffed.

"That's sweet," Zayns mum said with a smile, congratulating them.

"Yeah, yeah," Zayn then hugged them both, "should have seen this coming."

"So you're telling me that Harry told Zayn he wanted to propose and you told me?" Liam asked, eyebrows furrowed.

"Basically," Harry and Louis said together.

They grinned at each other and Louis pulled Harry in for a kiss.

"Wait," Harry blinked, "Niall--- Niall, you knew too."

"That I did," Niall said, grasping both of their shoulders and hugging them tightly, "congrats, buddies."

"Buddies?" Louis mumbled.

"Niall, I told you about Louis and you knew this whole time about Harry too," Liam thumped the back of his head.

"I didn't want to ruin it!" Niall whined with a pout.

Harry and Louis laughed again. Louis' face hurt from how much he was smiling but he never wanted it to stop. With Harry by his side, he was sure to never stop smiling. 'S why he had crinkles by his eyes of course.

***

**2019**

Waking up next to his husband was an otherworldly experience. He'd woken up next to Harry hundreds of times by now, he'd probably lost count. But waking up next to Harry as his husband, that was something else.

"Morning, darling," Louis rasped, placing a kiss on his shoulder blade, then snaking a hand around his waist to pull Harry to his chest.

The air smelt of sweat, sex and a faint mix of rose. It was heavenly.

Harry let out a deep rumble, shifting even more backwards until his bum hit Louis' crotch and foot hit Louis' knee.

"Oomph," Louis strained, still holding Harry close anyway, "babe," he laughed when Harry pushed himself even further.

"What?" He grumbled.

"If you push yourself any further you're going to literally morph into me," Louis laughed, placing a kiss onto the back of his neck, right where his hair started to curl.

"Lou," he said, moaning.

"Haz?" Louis nuzzled the back of his head.

"What's the time?"

Louis looked over his shoulder. "5 am."

"God, go back to sleep," Harry whined, "since when is he up before ten."

Louis giggled, kissing his neck again. "Sorry, baby just excited."

Harry sighed then turned around in Louis' arms, eyes half-opened and cheeks red, "me too but I want my sleep please?" He pouted, eyes drooping shut.

"Sorry, love," Louis said with a grin, pecking his nose then his cheek, "go back to sleep."

Harry smiled, snuggling into Louis again, holding him close by his waist this time, face into Louis' neck.

Louis found it easy falling back asleep with the love of his life in his arms and a sated heart.

The next time he woke up, Harry was not next to him. He patted the bedsheets and frowned when he couldn't feel the warmth that emmited from Harrys body.

He sat up with a sharp inhale, adjusting to the piece of light that shone through the room from the half-opened curtains by the balcony.

Smiling, he noticed the silhouette of his husband--- because he would definitely overuse that now--- standing at the balcony, only in a dressing gown on (from what Louis could see at least).

He decided with a heavy exhale to join him outside and enjoy the hot weather for a change. They'd really gone to a place with the hotter climate and Louis found that he quite liked it. Even if they had only been here for barely a day.

"Good morning," Louis sighed happily, wrapping his arms around Harry's waist and resting his chin on Harry's shoulder.

"Morning," Harry grinned, kissing the side of Louis' head. Good. He was in a better mood.

"How did my lovely husband sleep?" Louis asked.

Harry's grin grew wider, if that was even possible, and turned around in Louis' arms, leaning back against the railing. He moved stray strands of hair from Louis' forehead and kissed him there. "I always sleep well with you," he said softly.

Louis smiled, placing his hands next to Harry and on the railings, leaning forward. "Is that so?"

"Yeah," Harry hummed, "except for when you wake me up me up at ungodly hours for god knows what."

Louis snorted. He knew that would come up. Whenever Harry woke up him early, he wouldn't let it go either so perhaps this was some sort of payback.

"What were you even doing up so early anyways?" Harry asked, caressing his cheek.

Louis leaned into the touch, closing his eyes for a brief second to enjoy it. "Just woke up and wanted to admire you--- like, I just realised that I have a husband now, you know?"

Harry blushed. "Say that again," he ordered with a smile.

"Husband," Louis repeated, leaning even further and nudging their noses together.

"Again," Harry almost moaned.

Louis bit back a laugh and repeated it in a husky, sexy voice, " _husband_."

"Fuck me," Harry whimpered, then burst out laughing, shaking his head, "we have the weirdest kinks."

"First of all, I already did, twice," Louis smirked, "second, it's you with the weird kinks."

"Please," Harry scoffed,"as if you didn't get off on that last night too."

"I did not," Louis squawked.

"Yes you did," Harry flicked his forehead, "you practically came your pants when I called you hubby."

Louis rolled his eyes, feeling a tropical burn develop on his cheeks. "Whatever, you started it."

"Aw, Lou," Harry teased, kissing him softly, "I love you and your weird kinks, babe."

Louis sighed. "Anyways," he said loudly, "why are you out here on the balcony? Talking to a pigeon again?"

Harry chuckled, shaking his head. "Just watching the ocean," he said then turned his head to the side, looking at where the waves crashed onto the shore.

"Beautiful, huh?" Louis asked, completely mesmerized by the blue of the ocean, "remind me to send Ali and Heidi a muffin basket when we get back."

"And some cookies and ceramics," Harry added, "Ali liked ceramics too, remember?"

"Right, you and your horrible influence," Louis sighed dramatically, "what do I do with you?"

"You," Harry sang, kissing his nose, "need to brush your teeth 'cause I ordered room service."

"Fine, if you say so, husband," Louis said, pulling away, "not even a week in and he's bossing me around."

Harry chuckled, waving him off. "Go brush your teeth, you need it anyways."

"Hey," Louis gaped at him, "shut up, you still have garlic pieces in your mouth from our wedding night."

"From our starter?" He said flatly. "Sure, Lou."

Their wedding night. Louis smiled at the memory. He hated that it'd already felt like it was ages ago when it had only been, like three days ago.

What a day, really. They'd both been stress bugs from the morning, running around after everything to make sure it was done correctly, not trusting Jessie, their wedding planner, with anything even though she'd given them no reason not to trust her.

Then they were pried away from each other to actually get ready for the ceremony by their friends. Harry had a breakdown in the midst of everything because he wished his parents were here to see this and Louis cried with him because he'd actually wished his parents were there too.

But they had each other. They were each other's families now and that was more than good enough for Louis. Harry was all he needed.

When they'd said their vows, they'd cried even more.

"I promise to cherish and love you the way you deserve," Harry'd said, "to live within the warmth of your heart and always call it home."

"I vow to love you with every fibre in my being and to put you above all else," Louis had said, already tearing up, "to remind you everyday that you're the most important and the most beautiful person in my life."

That seemed to have done it for everyone. From their small crowd, at least. It was just friends and Liam, Zayn and Niall's parents.

It was perfect. Louis wouldn't have wanted to have it any other way.

And then they'd danced and danced and danced. From Shania Twain to their favourite disney song from _Tangled_. Funnily enough, that was what did it for Harry and he started bawling in the middle of the dancefloor.

"Speaking of," Louis hummed, "why don't we have a lazy day at the beach today since yesterday was kind of wasted---"

"Wasted?" Harry guffawed. "It wasn't wasted when you had your---"

Louis shut him up with a kiss. "I was saying," Louis pulled away, "we haven't left the room since we came and I think we owe that lovely beach a visit."

"Yeah," Harry agreed with a grin, "fine but you _need_ to go and brush your teeth, _please_."

Louis groaned but moved away from Harry and turned around to head back into the room.

"Louis," Harry called out just as Louis approached the balcony door.

Louis turned slightly, hand on the edge of the door. "Yeah?"

"Enjoying Christmas yet?" He asked, raising a challenging brow at him.

Louis rolled his eyes. "Growing on me," he answered.

"I knew it," Harry looked far too proud for Louis' liking.

As Louis was about to turn around again, Harry called for him once more.

"Yes?" Louis asked with a sigh.

"I love you."

Louis' heart skipped a beat, his slight annoyance disappearing. "I love you, too," he said back, grinning.

***

**2020**

"Do you think she'll like a _Tangled_ theme though? Or are we just going to be one of those parents that force our children to like what we like?" Harry turned to Louis, a worried look on his face. "Lou, I don't wanna be one of those parents."

"Harry," Louis sighed, hands coming to rest on his waist naturally by now, "baby, you're overthinking it. She's not even going to notice most of this until she's older and by then she can pick out whatever she likes for her room."

"Yeah?" Harry asked, eyebrows still pinched together.

Louis smoothed out the frown and kissed his forehead. "Trust me, love, everything will be okay, yeah?"

"Okay," Harry took a breath, "okay, yeah, right."

"Good," Louis smiled, "now may we resume my birthday festivities?"

Harry rolled his eyes half-heartedly and pushed Louis out of the room, a sparkle in his eye.

"Come on, birthday boy," Harry smirked, pulling him into their room.  
  
  


Louis woke up to a shrill ringing of his ringtone only a few minutes after he and Harry had fallen asleep--- just shy of an hour.

"Lou?" Harry mumbled, turning to face him.

Louis held up a finger to Harry as he answered the phone. "'Lo?"

Then--- then Louis went into panic mode and he couldn't really tell what happened. All he knew was that Harry had taken the phone from him and then they had to get dressed and then they were in the car and then in the hospital and Harry was asking for Iris' room and they were being led there.

He'd only really gotten out of it when they were told to sat down by a much-too-tall doctor with dirty blonde hair as they operated on Iris.

"Lou?" Harry placed a hand on this thigh, eyes frightened and cheeks red.

"Harry," Louis blinked, "Harry, babe--- it's gonna be all right."

"I'm so scared, Lou," Harry finally let out a small sob, lips trembling, "they just--- they said she started _bleeding_ , god."

"Fuck," Louis cursed, trying to keep his own tears in, "fuck it's going to be okay, H--- it has to be, yeah?"

"We---we made her room ready and everything," Harry sobbed, collapsing into Louis' arms.

"Oh, H," Louis hugged him, crying softly to himself too.

They had to sit there and wait, in each other's arms while the clock ticked above them as the minutes went by. Each second seemed mocking. It was horrible to experience.

He remembered. Hemorrhage, they'd said. Emergency c-section, even though Iris was only due two weeks and four days from now (they counted).

And god dammit they're close. They're so fucking close.

Louis heard a cheer suddenly from his right where two nurses were hugging each other.

"Merry Christmas," they'd said to each other.

Louis scoffed. It was Christmas. Of course it was Christmas. This dreaded holiday had taken so much from both of them already, they deserved this dammit. They deserved it. This baby deserved it, at the very least. If there was any god out there, Louis fucking hoped he heard that.

He prayed for the first time in--- well, he wasn't sure when last he'd prayed, really. Neither of them were very religious. Harry did more than Louis. In fact, Louis was sure he was doing that right now, head on his shoulder.

His hands were clasped tightly together on his lap, to the point where they were turning an angry red.

Louis wiggled his own hand in between and held onto it instead.

Just when Louis decided to shut his eyes, the dirty blonde-haired doctor from earlier stepped out of the room.

Harry and Louis both got up instantly, breath caught in their throats as they waited for news from the doctor.

"Iris is recovering," is what the doctor started with, which caused them both to sigh in relief--- at least partially.

"And the little one is being taken into the incubator as we speak," he continued. 

"Oh god," Harry covered his mouth with a trembling hand, "she's okay?"

"She's having a little trouble breathing but she's more than okay," the doctor smiled, "congratulations, you two have officially become parents."

Louis let out a heavy exhale, letting tears flow down his cheeks freely. He leaped into Harry's arms without a second thought as they rejoiced.

"Can we see Iris or the baby?" Harry asked once Louis was down again.

"You're welcome to see Iris and we will call you when you can see the baby."

"Thank you, Dr."

Iris was crying but she was smiling as she hugged them, her face red and eyes dark. She looked exhausted. God she was a fucking hero, she was. Louis had no idea how she'd done it.

"What happened?" Harry asked her, moving her hair into a neater ponytail gently.

"I just woke up and--- and I just saw blood everywhere," she grimaced, shaking her head, "I'm so happy that she's okay."

"We're happy you're okay, too, love" Louis said, kissing her head.

They didn't stay long with Iris because she looked like she was going to pass out any minute, so they'd let her be after about ten minutes and then they were called into a tiny little room with a cot where a little baby lay, a yellow hat on and tubes stuck onto and into her.

It was bittersweet. That was their daughter. God, that was their daughter. Their little girl.

"Oh, Lou," Harry whispered, staring at her too.

Louis linked their hands together as they approached the cot.

"You can hold her hand," a nurse said next to them.

Harry went first, going to one side of the cot where there was a small hole and stuck his finger inside that their little girl immediately grabbed onto.

Harry cried again, biting his lip. "Hey, baby girl," he said, croaking, "you're finally here with us," he let out a watery laugh.

Louis was stuck on the image in front of him. Something he'd dreamt of for ages.

"Lou, come on--- come hold her hand," Harry urged him, moving aside.

Louis copied what Harry had done, sticking his finger into the hole and finding his daughter's hand. When she grasped onto his finger, Louis swore he'd never felt love this strong in his entire life--- aside from Harry of course.

"She's beautiful," Louis said, almost in awe of her.

"She is," Harry agreed, finding it hard to not smile, "you finally love Christmas yet?"

Louis looked at him. Even though he knew Harry was only teasing, he glanced back at his daughter--- his _daughter_ \--- and said, "yeah, I think I finally do."

Even Harry seemed shocked at that but he smiled softly anyways, kissing Louis' cheek.

"Gentleman," the nurse interrupted, "do we have a name? Ms. Landgrab asked me to ask you two for one."

Iris asked them to name her. Louis was touched.

"Joy?" Harry offered with a small smile. "She finally brought joy to this little Grinch's heart," he laughed a little.

Louis rolled his eyes. "I actually like that name," he admitted, "Joy Iris?"

"Joy Iris," Harry agreed with an excited nod.

"Welcome to the world, my little Joy," Louis said, smiling down at his daughter then at his husband.

For the first time in years, he was happy on Christmas day.  
  
  
  
  



End file.
